Moe: Hiya, doctor.
Dr. Walters: Hi, what have you today boys?
Moe: Tell him what we have.
Curly: Well, doc I've a terrific pain right here. Everytime I squeeze my Adam's Apple I can taste cider.


--Curly Howard (as ) in Nutty But Nice

Moe: How can you shoot her with dice?
Curly Gallstone, Field Marshal: They're loaded. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!


--Curly Howard (as ) in You Natzy Spy!

Moe: I got an idea, we'll make a mummy out of you.
Curly: I can't be a mummy, I'm a daddy!
Larry: All right so you'll be a daddy-mummy.
Curly: Oh! That's different.


--Curly Howard (as ) in We Want Our Mummy

Moe: If you're going to bump yourself off in an hour, what's the idea of eating pie?
Curly: So I can di-gest right. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!


--Curly Howard (as ) in Rhythm and Weep

Moe: Isn't he cute?
Curly: Gee, I wonder if I looked like that when I was delivered by the stork.
Moe: When you were born, you were delivered by a buzzard.
Curly: Oh, special delivery, eh?


--Curly Howard (as ) in Sock-A-Bye Baby

Moe: Listen, Bustoff you can't drink that. That's alcohol.
Ivan Bustoff: That's not alcohol. That's just a little tequila, vodka and cognac.
Curly: Oh, that's different go ahead.


--Curly Howard (as ) in Grips, Grunts and Groans

Moe: Maha, Razbanyi siati benefuchi timiniharongi a bay meadows. That iron head askee taskee whatificharsaia kemdal ayendalay. You got some slick chicks?
Curly: Aha. Oh a wolf. Razbanyi siati benefuchi timiniharongi paraleechemahiha. I'd like to see some babes myself.
Curly: Hittin' a guy with glasses,huh?


--Curly Howard (as ) in Three Little Pirates

Moe: Now, calm yourself. We're census takers, madam. How old are you?
Larry: What address is this?
Lady having bridge party: One hundred and two.
Moe: You don't look a day over eighty.
Lady having bridge party: Young man, I'm twenty-nine.
Moe: Oh, yeah?
Lady having bridge party: Well, how do I look?
Moe: Oh, you look like a million.
Larry: Ah, she can't be that old. (Larry and Moe open her mouth and check her teeth.) Forty-three.
Moe: Fifty.
Larry: Forty-three!
Moe: Fifty!
Larry: Forty-three!
Moe: Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, (mouth begins to move much faster) fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty...
Curly: Sooold American!


--Curly Howard (as Curly) in No Census, No Feeling

Moe: Pardon us, madame, we're census takers. What's your name?
Larry: And your address?
Curly: What's more important, what's your phone number? Nyuk, nyuk...
[Woman hits them with her purse]


--Curly Howard (as Curly) in No Census, No Feeling

Moe: Remind me to tear out your Adam's apple!
Curly: I'll make a note of it.
[pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil]


--Curly Howard (as Curly) in Three Sappy People