Cleopatra Pepperday:
[after McGonigle takes a heavy fall] Marky, are you hurt?
The Great McGonigle: [sarcastically] No, I had the presence of mind to fall on my head.
--W.C. Fields (as The Great McGonigle / Squire Cribbs in 'The Drunkard') in The Old Fashioned Way
The Great McGonigle: [sarcastically] No, I had the presence of mind to fall on my head.
--W.C. Fields (as The Great McGonigle / Squire Cribbs in 'The Drunkard') in The Old Fashioned Way
Motorcycle Cop:
Where do you think you're going, to a fire?
The Great Man: Ah... Ah... maternity hospital.
Motorcycle Cop: Okay, Tomato-Puss, follow me.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
The Great Man: Ah... Ah... maternity hospital.
Motorcycle Cop: Okay, Tomato-Puss, follow me.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
[Peggy finds a litter of assorted kittens on her seat]
Peggy: I wonder what their parents were.
Professor Quail: Careless, my little dove cake, careless.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in International House
Peggy: I wonder what their parents were.
Professor Quail: Careless, my little dove cake, careless.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in International House
[Professor Quail enters during Rudy Vallee's song]
Professor Quail: How long's this dogfight been going on?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in International House
Professor Quail: How long's this dogfight been going on?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in International House
[repeated line]
J. Effingham Bellweather: Now stand clear and keep your eye on the ball!
--W.C. Fields (as ) in The Golf Specialist
J. Effingham Bellweather: Now stand clear and keep your eye on the ball!
--W.C. Fields (as ) in The Golf Specialist
[the town mob is about to lynch Twillie]
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
[they're in the basket trying to figure out how to get it pulled up to the mountaintop - a rock falls on his head]
His Niece: Did it hurt you, uncle?
The Great Man: No... how could a rock dropping from a thousand feet hurt your head?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
His Niece: Did it hurt you, uncle?
The Great Man: No... how could a rock dropping from a thousand feet hurt your head?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
[to the hotel porter]
Cuthbert J. Twillie: By the way, my ski shoes and hockey mask will be up on the next train along with the polo pony. I understand the countryside abounds here with wild game: flamingoes... wine wombats... Indian civets.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cuthbert J. Twillie: By the way, my ski shoes and hockey mask will be up on the next train along with the polo pony. I understand the countryside abounds here with wild game: flamingoes... wine wombats... Indian civets.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Harold:
You all gotta remember one thing: that I [quietly]
am the boss in this house.
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
