Jeff Peters: Orville, where are you?
Turkey Jackson: Right over here, behind these goosepimples.

Jerry Morgan: Listen, if this keeps up you'll get us kicked out of Switzerland.

Dreyfus: Fran?ois would you please call for a doctor.
Francois: Are you ill?
Dreyfus: I seem to have stabbed myself with the letter opener.

Dreyfus: Fran?ois, I just cut off my thumb.

Maria Gambrelli: [as Clouseau's coat is burning] Your coat, Monsieur!
Clouseau: Yes, it is my coat.

Helen: What kind of woman are you? How can you leave him like this? Does the sound of guns frighten you that much?
Amy: I've heard guns. My father and my brother were killed by guns. They were on the right side but that didn't help them any when the shooting started. My brother was nineteen. I watched him die. That's when I became a Quaker. I don't care who's right or who's wrong. There's got to be some better way for people to live. Will knows how I feel about it.

Peggy Stephenson: I've made up my mind.
Al Stephenson: Good girl.
Milly Stephenson: To do what?
Peggy Stephenson: I'm going to break that marriage up! I can't stand it seeing Fred tied to a woman he doesn't love and who doesn't love him. Oh, it's horrible for him. It's humiliating and it's killing his spirit. Somebody's got to help him.

Gillespie: Whatcha hit him with?
Tibbs: Hit whom?
Gillespie: "Whom"? Are you a northern boy? What's a northern boy doing down here?

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein Maria, did I or did I not say that bedtime is to be strictly observed in this household?
Maria: Yes, well the children were scared of the thunderstorm and... You did, sir.
Captain von Trapp: And do you or do you not have trouble following these simple instructions?
Maria: Only during thunderstorms, sir.

Kurt: I haven't had so much fun since the day we put glue on Fräulein Josephine's toothbrush.