Ollie:
Get this house cleaned up! Do you know that my wife will be home at noon!
Stan: Say, what do you think I am? Cinderella? If I had any sense I'd walk out on you.
Ollie: Well it's a good thing you haven't any sense!
Stan: It certainly is!
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates
Stan: Say, what do you think I am? Cinderella? If I had any sense I'd walk out on you.
Ollie: Well it's a good thing you haven't any sense!
Stan: It certainly is!
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates
Ollie:
What did you strike that match for?
Stan: I wanted to see if the light switch was off.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Their First Mistake
Stan: I wanted to see if the light switch was off.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Their First Mistake
Ollie:
Where are you going?
Stan: [emphatically] I'm gonna get my dog!
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Laughing Gravy
Stan: [emphatically] I'm gonna get my dog!
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Laughing Gravy
Ollie:
Why weren't you at the party last night?
Stan: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog.
Ollie: I can't understand you. Spell it.
Stan: A dog bit me. B-I-it me. Bit me.
Ollie: Where?
Stan: [Rolls up sleeve and puts the telephone to the injured area] They had to take me to the hospital last night and they said I might have hydrophosphates.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates
Stan: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog.
Ollie: I can't understand you. Spell it.
Stan: A dog bit me. B-I-it me. Bit me.
Ollie: Where?
Stan: [Rolls up sleeve and puts the telephone to the injured area] They had to take me to the hospital last night and they said I might have hydrophosphates.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates
Khan Mir Jutra:
[a gunshot is heard behind a screen] Remove the body.
Ollie: [the screen is removed. Stan has his eyes closed and a pistol pointed over his head] What happened?
Stanley MacLaurel: I missed myself.
[cries]
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Bonnie Scotland
Ollie: [the screen is removed. Stan has his eyes closed and a pistol pointed over his head] What happened?
Stanley MacLaurel: I missed myself.
[cries]
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Bonnie Scotland
Lady Plumtree:
Agnes, how long have you been here?
Stan: [in drag as the maid] About half an hour.
[realizing what she has said]
Stan: Oh, heh!
[laughs]
Stan: How silly of me! I'm so nervous. Heh, I mean half a year - to be exact, three months!
--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Another Fine Mess
Stan: [in drag as the maid] About half an hour.
[realizing what she has said]
Stan: Oh, heh!
[laughs]
Stan: How silly of me! I'm so nervous. Heh, I mean half a year - to be exact, three months!
--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Another Fine Mess
Dr. Horace Meddick:
What seems to be the trouble?
Stan: I think he's suffering from a nervous shakedown.
--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Sons of the Desert
Stan: I think he's suffering from a nervous shakedown.
--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Sons of the Desert
Mrs. Elvira Hawkley:
I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.
Stan: Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Nothing But Trouble
Stan: Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Nothing But Trouble
Schoolteacher:
You spell "Needle"!
Oliver: [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher: There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley: Then it's a rotten needle.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Pardon Us
Oliver: [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher: There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley: Then it's a rotten needle.
--Stan Laurel (as ) in Pardon Us
