Denver doctor: You know, you don't have to get well to please me. I'm used to people dying on me.
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: So am I.


--Karl Swenson (as ) in Hour of the Gun

County Sheriff Jimmy Bryan: You're under arrest.
Wyatt Earp (Tombstone city marshal: For what?
County Sheriff Jimmy Bryan: Murder
Wyatt Earp (Tombstone city marshal: Not today, tomorrow or ever. You have no jurisdiction in the city of Tombstone. Even if you did you couldn't make it stick.
Frank Stilwell: We got enough men behind us to make it stick.
[Doc cocks his shotgun]
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: Stilwell, if you so much as turn your head towards those men, you'll be laying in the horse manure with your friends.


--Karl Swenson (as ) in Hour of the Gun

Dr. Charles Goodfellow: I can't understand why I never win.
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: You don't play very well. Besides that, you never cheat.


--Karl Swenson (as ) in Hour of the Gun

Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: Those aren't warrants you have there... those are hunting licenses!


--Karl Swenson (as ) in Hour of the Gun

Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: Well, you got the first gun for your posse.
Wyatt Earp (Tombstone city marshal: Did you hear the part about "no funds available"?
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: I hear the Chamber of Commerce has put up $20,000 reward money.
Wyatt Earp (Tombstone city marshal: For arrest and conviction, not dead or alive. Not your style, Doc.
Dr. John 'Doc' Holliday: For that kind of money, I can be as law abiding as, ah, you are.


--Karl Swenson (as ) in Hour of the Gun

Merlin: [Struggling with a well] A dark age, indeed! Age of inconvenience! No plumbing, no electricity, no nothing!
[Slips and almost falls into the well]
Merlin: Oh, hang it all! Hang it all!
[Starts to leave, but his foot is caught in the chain]
Merlin: Oh, now what, now what? Here, leave off! Leave off! You... you fiendish chain, you! Everything complicated! One big medieval mess!


--Karl Swenson (as Merlin) in The Sword in the Stone

Merlin: [to the sugar pot] Impudent piece of crockery.


--Karl Swenson (as Merlin) in The Sword in the Stone

Merlin: Archimedes, where... where are we?
Archimedes the Owl: In a tumbled-down old tower in the most misearble old castle in all Christiandom. That's where.
Merlin: Ca... castle?
Archimedes the Owl: Don't you even remember the boy?
Merlin: Boy?
Sir Ector: [outside, to Kay] Can't you remember one blasted thing?
Merlin: [to Archimedes] Now, just a moment...
Sir Ector: Firm grasp on the lance!
Merlin: Oh.


--Karl Swenson (as Merlin) in The Sword in the Stone

Merlin: Big news, eh? Can't wait for the London Times. Next edition won't be out for another, oh, twelve hundred years. Archimedes, would you mind sailing down there and...
Archimedes the Owl: Not interested!
Merlin: Oh, come, come, come, come now. You're as wet as you can get.
Archimedes the Owl: No! No, no, no!
Merlin: Archimedes, I'll turn you into a human.
Archimedes the Owl: You wouldn't dare!
Merlin: I will, so help me I will!
Archimedes the Owl: All right! All right!
[Archimedes leaves]
Merlin: Works every time. Just like magic.


--Karl Swenson (as Merlin) in The Sword in the Stone

Merlin: Higitus Figitus Migitus Mum! Prestigitonium! Higitus Figitus Migitus Mum! Prestigitoni-UM!


--Karl Swenson (as Merlin) in The Sword in the Stone