Sheldon Gage: What's the matter, Tom?
Cuthbert Greenway: Bottles flying through the air, glasses filling themselves up, and somebody tooted into my stethoscope!


--Bud Abbott (as Cuthbert Greenway / Dr. Ralph Greenway) in The Time of Their Lives

Swami Talpur: [to Freddie in a hypnotic voice] You didn't see me... you didn't see me... you didn't see me... I wasn't here
[leaves]
Casey Edwards: [to Freddy] Ready to go?
Freddie Phillips: I didn't see him.
Casey Edwards: You didn't see who?
Freddie Phillips: The man who wasn't here.
Casey Edwards: What man?
Freddie Phillips: All I did was open up the door, see if the coast was clear, my mind went blank.
Casey Edwards: Your mind's been a blank all your life.


--Bud Abbott (as Casey Edwards) in Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff

Chorus: [singing] Jack and the beanstalk we'll always remember when / He chased up the stalk and killed a giant in his den.
Mr. Dinkelpuss: I managed this boy.


--Bud Abbott (as Mr. Dinkel / Mr. Dinkelpuss) in Jack and the Beanstalk

Driver: [Ferdie parks his car disasterously] That man should have his license taken away.
Chuck: I'll see that he does as soon as he gets one.


--Bud Abbott (as Chuck Murray) in Hold That Ghost