Parlor, Bedroom and Bath (1931)

Angelica Embrey: I'm sorry Bertie, but I've decided that I can't marry you.
Bertie: Oh, but why? Uh, why the sudden change? I mean to say, dash it.
Angelica Embrey: You don't come up to specifications.
Bertie: Specifications? Uuh, what am I, a horse or a silly ass?
Angelica Embrey: Oh, well I wouldn't say that you were silly.
Bertie: But my dear, you know, you can't judge a husband in a bathing suit.
Angelica Embrey: No, but you can get a rough idea.
Bertie: Ooh.

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Jeffrey Haywood: Now, when you first get to your room, order some... uh, champagne and broiled lobster.
Reginald Irving: Champ... Ch... Can't you make it beer?
Jeffrey Haywood: Beer? Certainly not. Champagne!
[pause]
Jeffrey Haywood: C, H, A, M, P, A, uh... oh, well, make it wine. W, I, N, E.
Reginald Irving: Oh well, what do I call her?
Jeffrey Haywood: Oh, call her... kid, sweetheart, baby...
Reginald Irving: Kid, sweetheart, baby.
Jeffrey Haywood: Uh huh. And then when you're helping her to take off her...
Reginald Irving: Take off her what?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wrap!
Reginald Irving: R, A, P.
Jeffrey Haywood: No, WRAP! *W*, R, A, P.
Reginald Irving: Wap?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wap?... Well, make it coat.
Reginald Irving: K, O, T, E.

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Polly Hathaway: You're just as safe with me as you would be in jail.

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A modern source lists Eugene Pallette in the cast. Although he was in the 1920 version, he was not in this film.
Filmed in Buster Keaton's own house.
The play opened in New York City on 24 December 1917 and ran for 232 performances.
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