Only Two Can Play (1962)

John Lewis: Hello, Bill. How's it been going? I hope the children didn't give you too much trouble.
Bill: No, no... Those two were fine... That Bolk... I had to take him to the lavatory seven times.

---

John Lewis: What he does, you see, he puts the canvas on the floor, chucks some whopping great dollops of paint on it and drags a naked woman across it. Yes. Yes. Sort of job I'd like, that. I'd enjoy cleaning the brushes anyway.

---

Man with salt-obsessed friend: Something to do with his blood, you know. He got to get it into his bloodstream.
John Lewis: Uh, the Pygmies have the same problem. Yes, I quite understand. Well, tell your friend not to worry because relief is on the way.

---

read more quotes from Only Two Can Play...

Presumably due to the depiction in the film, Swansea Library would not give permission for filming. The film uses the Glynn Vivian art gallery, directly over the road, for exteriors instead.
The South Wales town the film is set in - Aberdarcy - is a fictional one.
read more facts about Only Two Can Play...