Kiss and Tell (1945)

Corliss Archer: Dexter, you've got to take an oath in blood not to breathe a word if I tell you the truth.
Dexter Franklin: Okay, I swear -
[hits his head on a tree branch]
Dexter Franklin: Ow!
Corliss Archer: You can take it sitting down.
Dexter Franklin: All right. I swear in blood. Look, here's blood on my chin. I just shaved.
Corliss Archer: Well, in the first place, Mildred and Lenny are married.
Dexter Franklin: What! Married!
[Corliss shushes him]
Dexter Franklin: Holy cow.
Corliss Archer: And in the second place, Mildred's gonna have a baby.
Dexter Franklin: She is?
Corliss Archer: But her parents and my parents don't dream they're married, so of course they can't know she's gonna have a baby. See? I'm the only one who knows.
Dexter Franklin: Well, go on.
Corliss Archer: Well, I've been going with Mildred to see her doctor, Dr. Fabling in the Professional Building.
Dexter Franklin: And then what?
Corliss Archer: And evidently, someone saw me coming out of his office, and must have phoned Mrs. Pringle, and well, she came tearing over here, and now everybody seems to have jumped to the conclusion that I'm going to have the baby.
Dexter Franklin: [laughing] Oh, boy! You *are* in a jam!
Corliss Archer: Well, for a while, everybody thought Jimmy was to blame, and Daddy was just calling the C.O. to have him executed.
Dexter Franklin: Gee, whiz.
Corliss Archer: Yes. Then - then Daddy was just demanding to know who it was, and then you came in, and for some reason, they all seem to think it's you!
Dexter Franklin: What? No wonder your father tried to kill me! Holy cow! I'm a dead duck!
Corliss Archer: Dexter, would you mind not denying it for a little while? I've got to have time to think.

---

Corliss Archer: [Mrs. Archer thinks Corliss is pregnant] Mother, do you think I'm awful?
Janet Archer: I've already told you what I think, and it hasn't made the slightest impression. You don't seem to realize what a dreadful thing this is. Oh, I don't understand you, Corliss.
Corliss Archer: Mother, do you hate me? Please, don't hate me.
Janet Archer: Hate you? Oh, darling! Darling, of course I don't hate you.
Corliss Archer: You know, I think Daddy'd like to break my neck.
Janet Archer: Only because he loves you so, you little idiot.
Corliss Archer: Mom, please don't feel so awful. Oh, Mom, please don't cry. Oh, if only I could explain ...
Janet Archer: I'm so ashamed, Corliss. I feel it's all my fault.
Corliss Archer: Oh, Mom, no, no!
Janet Archer: To think, how we used to dream about the day you'd get married.
Corliss Archer: But, Mother, we are married.
Janet Archer: What?
Corliss Archer: Well, naturally, Mom. I mean, golly. Well, surely you didn't think that - well, naturally we're married.
Janet Archer: But Corliss -
Corliss Archer: Mom, how could you possibly think we weren't married?
Janet Archer: Then why didn't you say so?
Corliss Archer: Well, I haven't had a chance. Daddy's been yelling ever since, and I was sent to my room.

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Nora Wilcox: [catching Corliss leaving an obstetrician's office] Why, hello, Corliss.
Corliss Archer: Hello, Mrs. Wilcox. Oh. Oh, golly, can you imagine? I just went into the wrong office.
Nora Wilcox: Well, it looks like it, dear. An obstetrician is a sort of a baby doctor.
Corliss Archer: Oh, is it? Golly, how embarassing. Long words like that always throw me for a "lop".
Nora Wilcox: What do you hear from Lenny?
Corliss Archer: [nervously backing up] Oh, well, he's in the Pacific. Uh. I haven't heard anything from him now, I don't know where he is. We haven't had any V-mail for - for several weeks.
[bumping into an orthodontist's office door]
Corliss Archer: Oh! That's the word that confused me.
Nora Wilcox: Say hello to your mother for me, Corliss.
Corliss Archer: You bet, Mrs. Wilcox.

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Kiss and Tell opened at the Biltmore Theater on March 17, 1943 and ran for an incredible 956 performances.
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