Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
[the waiter brings the bill]
Otis B. Driftwood: Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? This is an outrage.
[to his dinner companion]
Otis B. Driftwood: If I were you I wouldn't pay it.
Otis B. Driftwood: Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? This is an outrage.
[to his dinner companion]
Otis B. Driftwood: If I were you I wouldn't pay it.
Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
[upon seeing a cast member made up to appear hideously ugly]
Otis B. Driftwood: Boogie, boogie, boogie. How would you like to feel the way she looks?
Otis B. Driftwood: Boogie, boogie, boogie. How would you like to feel the way she looks?
Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
Henderson:
Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?
Otis B. Driftwood: Now which question do you want me to answer first Henderson?
Otis B. Driftwood: Now which question do you want me to answer first Henderson?
Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
Henderson:
You live here all alone?
Otis B. Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.
Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.
Otis B. Driftwood: That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.
Otis B. Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.
Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.
Otis B. Driftwood: That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.
Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
Otis B. Driftwood:
[attempting to sell insurance to a ship porter] I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.
Chico Marx
(as Fiorello)
Otis B. Driftwood:
Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
Chico Marx
(as Fiorello)
Otis B. Driftwood:
It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause.
[Fiorello laughs loudly]
Fiorello: You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Claus!
[Fiorello laughs loudly]
Fiorello: You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Claus!
Groucho Marx
(as Otis B. Driftwood)
Otis B. Driftwood:
That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you.