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Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Jonathan Forbes)

Jonathan Forbes: I started out in college with 8 Million Dollars and I've still got 8 Million Dollars. I just can't seem to get ahead.

Lionel Barrymore

Lionel Barrymore
(as Martin Vanderhof)

Grandpa Vanderhoff: Scum, are we? What makes you think you're such a superior human being? Your money? If you do, you're a dull-witted fool, Mr. Kirby. And a poor one at that. You're poorer than any of these people that you call scum, because I'll guarantee at least they've got some friends. While you with your jungle and your long claws, as you call 'em, you'll wind up your miserable existence without anything you can call friend. You may be a high mogul to yourself, Mr. Kirby, but to me you're a failure - failure as a man, failure as a human being, even a failure as a father. When your time comes, I doubt if a single tear will be shed over you. The world will probably cry, "Good riddance." That's a nice prospect, Mr. Kirby. I hope you'll enjoy it. I hope you'll get some comfort out of all this coin you've been sweating over then!

Lionel Barrymore

Lionel Barrymore
(as Martin Vanderhof)

Wilbur G. Henderson (Internal Revenue Department):: Mr. Vanderhoff, our records show that you've never paid an income tax.
Grandpa Vanderhoff: That's right.
Wilbur G. Henderson (Internal Revenue Department):: Why not?
Grandpa Vanderhoff: I don't believe in it.

Lionel Barrymore

Lionel Barrymore
(as Martin Vanderhof)

Wilbur G. Henderson (Internal Revenue Department):: Now Mr. Vanderhoff, that's a very serious thing, not filing an income tax return.
Grandpa Vanderhoff: Well, now suppose I do pay you this money? Mind you, I don't say that I'm going to, but just for the sake of argument -- what's the government going to do with it?
Wilbur G. Henderson (Internal Revenue Department):: What do you mean?
Grandpa Vanderhoff: Well, what do I get for MY money? For instance, if I go into a dept store and buy something, why there it is, I can see it. What are they going to give me?

Lionel Barrymore

Lionel Barrymore
(as Martin Vanderhof)

Grandpa Vanderhoff: I wouldn't mind paying for something sensible.
Wilbur G. Henderson (Internal Revenue Department):: Sensible? What about Congress and the Supreme Court -- and the President? We've got to pay them, don't we?
Grandpa Vanderhoff: Not with my money, no sir!


Walter Matthau

Walter Matthau
(as Dr. Julian Winston)

Dr. Julian Winston: Miss Dickinson, there are some things a man just can't do. I won't push Harvey Greenfield for money, I've know him too long. You do it.

Jean Arthur

Jean Arthur
(as Alice Sycamore)

Tony Kirby: I was just thinking about that family of yours. Living with them must be like living in a world of Walt Disney. Everybody does just as he pleases, doesn't he?
Alice Sycamore: Yes, Grandpa started it. He just suddenly left business one day. He started up in the elevator, turned around and came right down again -- and never went back. He could have been a rich man, but said he wasn't having any fun.

Lionel Barrymore

Lionel Barrymore
(as Martin Vanderhof)

Grandpa Vanderhoff: Maybe it'd stop you trying to be so desperate about making more money than you can ever use. You can't take it with you, Mr. Kirby. So what good is it? As near as I can see, the only thing you can take with you is the love of your friends.

Walter Connolly

Walter Connolly
(as Andrews)

Alexander Andrews: You're a sucker to go through with this. That guy Warne is OK. He didn't want the reward. All he asked for was $39.60, what he spent on you. Said it was a matter of principle. You took him for a ride. He loves you, Ellie. He told me so. You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley; I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy and you won't do so bad for yourself. If you change your mind, your car's waiting at the back gate.

Ginger Rogers

Ginger Rogers
(as Penny Carroll)

Penny Carroll: Listen. No one could teach you to dance in a million years. Take my advice and save your money!

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