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Dean Martin

Dean Martin
(as Matt Helm)

Tina: [concerned about a sniper outside] But what happens if he hits the gas tank?
Matt Helm: Smokey the Bear won't like it. Get in.
Stella Stevens

Stella Stevens
(as Gail Hendricks)

Tina: Are you on a vacation?
Gail Hendrix: Oh well, eh, I was on a tour, a sight-seeing tour. But eh, the man in charge of our group kept taking me places that weren't in the brochure.
Matt Helm: Where was that?
Gail Hendrix: His room.
Stella Stevens

Stella Stevens
(as Gail Hendricks)

Gail Hendrix: Eddie, fix me a Bloody Mary. With real blood.
Dean Martin

Dean Martin
(as Matt Helm)

Gail Hendrix: I want some music.
[Gail turns on car radio, Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" plays]
Matt Helm: Oh, turn him off, he's terrible!
[Gail changes the station, Dean Martin's "Everybody Loves Somebody" plays]
Matt Helm: Now that's a guy that can sing!
Dean Martin

Dean Martin
(as Matt Helm)

Gail Hendrix: Mr. Helm, now do I look like an enemy agent?
Matt Helm: Well I dunno, I haven't seen the latest models yet.
Dean Martin

Dean Martin
(as Matt Helm)

Gail Hendrix: You undressed me once and I didn't like it.
Matt Helm: Now you're confusing romance with first aid.
Stella Stevens

Stella Stevens
(as Gail Hendricks)

Gail Hendrix: You're sick, you know that? S.I.Q.U.E. Sick!
Dean Martin

Dean Martin
(as Matt Helm)

[after Gail had splashed water on Matt, she then spills a drink on him after falling over when he's lighting her cigarette]
Gail Hendrix: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Matt Helm: Yeah, I know you are.

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