Alexander Bullock: All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

Alexander Bullock: I've just been going over last month's bills, and I find that you people have confused me with the Treasury Department.
Cornelia Bullock: Oh, don't start that again, Dad.
Alexander Bullock: I don't mind giving the government 60% of what I make. But I can't do it when my family spends 50%!
Irene: Well, why should the government get more money than your own family?

Alexander Bullock: Life in this family is one subpoena after another.

Alexander Bullock: We've got to come to an understanding right now: either Carlo is or I am.
Angelica Bullock: Am what?
Alexander Bullock: Well, one of us has got to and that's all there is to it.

Cornelia Bullock: So Little Red Riding Hood didn't have enough feminine charm to trap a wolf her own age, so she falls in love with a butler and lives happily ever after on an ash pile. If you know what I mean.
Irene: I know what you mean, if you know what *I* mean.
Carlo: [entering the room] May I come in?
Cornelia Bullock: You're in, aren't you?
Carlo: Very interesting book. The Greeks of the Middle Ages.
Cornelia Bullock: Oh, Irene would like that. You love the middle ages, don't you, dear?

Cornelia Bullock: Will you do me a big favor?
Faithful George: Who do you want killed?
Cornelia Bullock: I'll do my own killing.

Cornelia Bullock: You can't go on like this forever. You really like me and you're afraid to admit it, aren't you?
Godfrey: You want me to tell you what I REALLY think of you?
Cornelia Bullock: Please do.
Godfrey: As Smith or as a butler?
Cornelia Bullock: Choose your own weapon.
Godfrey: You won't hold it against me?
Cornelia Bullock: It's your day off.
Godfrey: Very well. You belong to that unfortunate category that I would call the "Park Avenue brat". A spoiled child who's grown up in ease and luxury... who's always had her own way... and who's misdirected energies are so childish that they hardly deserve the comment, even of a butler on his off Thursday.
Cornelia Bullock: [hurt and angry] Thank you for a very lovely portrait.

Godfrey: Do you mind telling me just what a scavenger hunt is?
Irene: Well, a scavenger hunt is exactly like a treasure hunt, except in a treasure hunt you try to find something you want, and in a scavenger hunt you try to find something that nobody wants.
Godfrey: Hmm, like a forgotten man?
Irene: That's right, and the one who wins gets a prize, only there really isn't a prize. It's just the honor of winning, because all the money goes to charity, that is, if there is any money left over, but there never is.
Godfrey: Well, that clears the whole matter up beautifully.

Godfrey: Do you think you could follow an intelligent conversation for a minute?
Irene: I'll try.

Godfrey: Does the butler have quarters here in the house, or is that necessary?
Molly: Oh, you won't need any quarters. Just hang your hat near the door so you can get it quickly on the way out.