Gus Brubaker: Look, Marge, seven years ago the Air Force and I got what's called a friendly divorce - nothing sentimental, we just shook hands and promised not to write. Now I'd like to leave it that way - please!


--Dick Shawn (as ) in Wake Me When It's Over

Sylvester Marcus: [Benji and Dingy run by] Who are they?
Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.
Sylvester Marcus: From this morning?
Mrs. Marcus: Yes.
Sylvester Marcus: [Captain Culpeper goes by] Who is he?
Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.
Sylvester Marcus: [Otto Meyer runs by] Who is he?
Mrs. Marcus: I don't know.
Sylvester Marcus: Mama, how many people are mixed up in this thing?
[the two cab drivers run by]
Sylvester Marcus: Who are they? Cabbies? Mama, this thing is like a convention.


--Dick Shawn (as Sylvester Marcus) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Sylvester Marcus: I'm coming. That's what I'm here for. That's why you had me, Mama, to save you.


--Dick Shawn (as Sylvester Marcus) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Sylvester Marcus: That's my mommy. She's gone crazy or something. MAYBE RAPE! OH!


--Dick Shawn (as Sylvester Marcus) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Mrs. Marcus: "No matter what you've all done today, you're really not criminals". Ha! Of all the snooty, patronizing...
[to Pike]
Mrs. Marcus: You're stepping on my foot!
Sylvester Marcus: Would you get off Mama's foot?


--Dick Shawn (as Sylvester Marcus) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Melville Crump: Look, why don't we just start digging for it?
J. Russell Finch: Well suppose someone comes along? What do we tell them?
Monica Crump: Well, we could tell them that we're here on an archeological expedition.
Melville Crump: [annoyed] Aah!
Sylvester Marcus: We don't tell them anything. We tell them to hit the road or we beat their brains in!


--Dick Shawn (as Sylvester Marcus) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World