How to Commit Marriage (1969)

Oliver Poe: [spots the recently divorced Benson's with their respective dates, at his standing room only nightclub, dressed like hippies] Well, look who just came in... split-city. I think I'll go over and deflate some egos.
Laverne Baker: Now, Oliver, don't cause any trouble.
Oliver Poe: [with glee] Me? Trouble? Preposterous!
Oliver Poe: [walks over to Benson's table] Who are you supposed to be Sambo's mother?
Frank Benson: Look Flabberino, why don't you leave and make room for like six more tables?
Oliver Poe: Sold any mud, lately? Well, well, well. One big happy family. I don't get it.
[points to the ex-Mrs. Benson]
Oliver Poe: You're with him.
[points to Lois' breasts]
Oliver Poe: And he's with those... I mean, her.
Frank Benson: Back up Moby Dick, how would you like your flab parted in the front, too.
Oliver Poe: I'm getting out of here before I punch a senior citizen in the snoot.

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Nancy Benson: [introducing her fiancé to her father] David comes from a broken home.
David Poe: I was the only child in kindergarten who could spell dirty words correctly.
Frank Benson: I'm amazed you didn't write a best-seller.

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Frank Benson: [meeting Poe for the first time in church] I'm in real estate.
Oliver Poe: But not deep enough. I have a horrible feeling we've met before. Does 7719 Hillside Drive mean anything to you?
Frank Benson: Isn't that a three bedroom, hillside colonial with patio, wet bar, and over-sized bay window? Nothing personal.
Oliver Poe: Tee-hee. You forgot to mention the hill in the back and the guaranteed retaining wall.
Frank Benson: Yeah, well... I sell so many, I forget the details.
Oliver Poe: Twenty thousand tons of mud in a swimming isn't exactly a detail!
[grabs Benson's arm]
Oliver Poe: The house was on a hill until it rained then the hill was on the house.
[shouts]
Oliver Poe: That was twenty years ago and they're still digging to find the backyard.
Frank Benson: Lower your voice, Poe. This is a church not a street corner.
Oliver Poe: Don't look down your nose at me you pompous, pious, prick. If I had known she was your daughter we wouldn't be standing here in two rented mummy suits waiting to sacrifice two nice kids on the alter of same ancient fertility rite.

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This movie is the film debut of the California progressive psychedelic hippie band "The Comfortable Chair", recording artists on CBS-Ode Records, whose six band members appear as themselves in the movie. They were discovered and produced by John Densmore and Robby Krieger of famous rock band The Doors. They are: Bernie Schwartz - lead vocals, Barbara Wallace - lead vocals, Gene Garfin - lead guitar, Gary Davis - bass guitar, Greg LeRoy - drums & percussion, and Tad Barczak - synthesizer & piano keyboards.
Last theatrical movie appearance of Jane Wyman.
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