Betsy Blandings: Ms. Stellwagon has assigned each of us to take a classified ad and write a human-interest theme about it. I found one typical of the disintegration of our present society.
Jim Blandings: I wasn't aware of the fact that our society *was* disintegrating.
Betsy Blandings: I wouldn't expect you to be, Father. Ms. Stellwagon says that middle class people like us are all too prone to overlook...
Jim Blandings: Muriel, I know this is asking a lot, but just one morning I would like to sit down and have breakfast without social significance.
Muriel Blandings: Jim, you really must take more interest in your children's education.
Joan Blandings: Can't squeeze blood from a turnip.

Rufus T. Firefly: I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.

Aunt Alicia: Did you work hard in school today? What did you study?
Gigi: History. Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.
Aunt Alicia: How depressing. What else?
Gigi: English.
Aunt Alicia: English? I suppose we must. They refuse to learn French.

Peter Warne: Say, where'd you learn to dunk? In finishing school?
Ellie Andrews: Aw, now don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk.
Peter Warne: Of course you shouldn't - you don't know how to do it. Dunking's an art. Don't let it soak so long. A dip and [he stuffs the donut in his mouth] plop, in your mouth. You let it hang there too long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter of timing. Aw, I oughta write a book about it.
Ellie Andrews: [laughs] Thanks, professor.
Peter Warne: Just goes to show you - twenty millions, and you don't know how to dunk.
Ellie Andrews: Oh, I'd change places with a plumber's daughter any day.

Theo Weston: Dancing is merely their way of keeping fit for the more exciting pastime of teacher baiting.

Theo Weston: Anybody can be an engineer, but teaching this mob is... well, l wish l had your gift.