Jerry Connell: Buddy of mine once told me that he'd rather fly a jet than kiss his girl. Said it gave him more of a kick.
Walt Carver: No foolin'!
Joe Czanoczek: Maybe he oughta get another girl!


--Alex Nicol (as Joe Czanoczek) in Air Cadet

Brett Wade: Well, this is an honor. Probably the first time a corpse has ever been asked to deliver his own funeral oration. I expected to be carried out of Lordsburg, but here I stand on my way to Colorado filled with wind instead of lead. I couldn't include most of you in my will, but I do leave you all the unmined silver in these hills, all the unspilled whiskey, all the unkissed ladies and all the unfilled straights and flushes. I want to apologize for leaving the party. For me, there never has been, and never will be, another like it. And finally, I want to apologize to all of those of you who hoped to gain the distinction of being the man or woman to shoot and kill the notorious Brett Wade.
Jimmy Rapp: No apologies necessary, Wade. I'm here to oblige you.


--Alex Nicol (as ) in Dawn at Socorro

Dave Waggoman: They're grazing on Barb land, aren't they?
Vic Hansbro: So they're eating a mouthful of grass! We got plenty growing around here.
Dave Waggoman: Alec always says: a steer swallows a mouthful of Barb grass, it becomes a Barb steer.


--Alex Nicol (as Dave Waggoman) in The Man from Laramie

James 'Brad' Bradley: [apologizing after being bumped into the musicians] Can I, uh, can I get you a drink to make it up?
Barbara Quigley: I wouldn't use force to stop you.
[as Brad is walking away]
Barbara Quigley: Ask the man for the bottle!
[he does a double take]
James 'Brad' Bradley: [sarcastically, to the bartender] If I asked her if she wanted a smoke, do you think she'd order a flamethrower?
Bartender: Ask her and see.


--Alex Nicol (as ) in Face the Music

James 'Brad' Bradley: [narrating as he enters a dingy club] This didn't look like a safe place to take your mother. In fact, it looked like a place you leave horizontally or not at all.


--Alex Nicol (as ) in Face the Music

James 'Brad' Bradley: I gotta go.
Maxine Halbard: Why?
James 'Brad' Bradley: Ask the clock.


--Alex Nicol (as ) in Face the Music

James 'Brad' Bradley: Strangest feeling in the back of my neck that somebody might throw a knife at me any minute.
Barbara Quigley: Turn your back to the wall and there won't be room for anybody to throw anything.
James 'Brad' Bradley: I feel like I've had my back to the wall ever since I set foot in this country.


--Alex Nicol (as ) in Face the Music