Dietes - College Regent: Modernization isn't everything!


--William Fawcett (as Dietes) in The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes

Matthew Barnes: Charity case. Nothing but charity cases. Who is gonna pay for this funeral?
John Banner: You'll find $300 in his vest pocket. You take out for his funeral and send the rest to his nearest relative.
Matthew Barnes: Nearest relative, huh?
[To corpse]
Matthew Barnes: Nephew, you just found yourself an uncle.


--William Fawcett (as ) in Dakota Incident

Matthew Barnes: One of them has got bottle fever... threw away the cork.


--William Fawcett (as ) in Dakota Incident

Rocky: Much obliged. One more jump and they'd have got me.
Jim Grant: Who were they? Outlaws?
Rocky: Worse than that - they're the Baron's men.
Jim Grant: Baron? Around here?
Rocky: You must be a stranger here. The Baron is a character by the name of Ulrich. He owns all the land - well, claims he does anyhow - from here to the California line. Runs it like a baron, which he likes to be called. And his men will shoot anyone on sight who sets foot on it.
Jim Grant: Do they hold up stagecoaches, too?
Rocky: I wouldn't put it past him.


--William Fawcett (as ) in Roar of the Iron Horse

Jim Grant: I think I'll have a look at this Baron's layout.
Rocky: You ain't carin' to live no longer?
Jim Grant: I saw you come out of there.
Rocky: Oh, I been prospectin' so long I lost whatever sense I started with.


--William Fawcett (as ) in Roar of the Iron Horse

[last lines]
Rocky: Now let me tell you something.
Jim Grant: Go ahead.
Rocky: I found the meteor.
Carol Lane: The one with the diamonds in it? Then your fortune's made.
Rocky: No, it tain't. The cussed thing's in a hole 60 feet wide. It's harder than glass and must way 80 million tons. How am I goin' to dig that out?


--William Fawcett (as ) in Roar of the Iron Horse