Alice Brock: Take off those handcuffs!
Officer Obie: You're interfering in the performance of my duties.
Alice Brock: You're a meathead - haven't you play-acted cop enough for one day?
Officer Obie: This side is reserved for officers of the law and criminals.
Alice Brock: Pig-eyed idiot!
Officer Obie: Alice, I've had enough garbage for one day, yours and theirs.
Alice Brock: Stupid bastard!
Officer Obie: Alice...
Alice Brock: Cradle hopper!
Officer Obie: Alice!
Alice Brock: Turkey raper!


--Patricia Quinn (as ) in Alice's Restaurant