Station sergeant: Your name?
Father Brown: Brown.
Station sergeant: You sure it isn't Smith, or Jones?


--John Salew (as Station sergeant) in Father Brown

William Shakespeare: [writing whilst eating a loaf of bread] Ah, "He laughs at wounds who never... had... a scar". Mmh. Ah, curse the crumbs. "He, jests, at crumbs... ." Oh, no, no, no.
Susie Barton: [unannounced from balcony] "He jests at scars that never felt a wound."
William Shakespeare: Perfection itself! "He... ." Who spoke? Who art thou?
Susie Barton: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?"
William Shakespeare: But another perfect line! Er, it's not one of Francis Bacon's, is it?
Susie Barton: Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. Er. "Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Aren't you missing your cue? You're supposed to climb the ladder.
William Shakespeare: Yes, of course. That's what Romeo would do. Hmmm.
Susie Barton: Easy to see you've never played this scene before.
William Shakespeare: Why, 'tis only now I write it.


--John Salew (as ) in Time Flies