[Presenting a dog to the courtroom]
Prosecuting Attorney: Exhibit 2, please. Now, generals of the jury, I will prove with this exhibit...
Defense Attorney: Your honor, I object! I object to having this witness called an exhibit!
Prosecuting Attorney: She IS an exhibit!
Defense Attorney: He's a witness!
Prosecuting Attorney: She is not!
Defense Attorney: He is!
Judge: Objection sustained. From now on, the prosecution will refer to Exhibit #2 as Witness #1.


--Frank Sheridan (as Judge) in The Merry Widow

[while visiting America, Parnell gives some money to a poor family]
Poor man: It's little wonder why they call him the King of Ireland.
Sheriff: The *uncrowned* King.
Poor woman: He'll get his crown in heaven.


--Frank Sheridan (as Sheriff) in Parnell