Don Quixote 'Ipso-Fact' Martindale: I tell you, I will take this case to the Supreme Court. Even higher!


--Earle Hodgins (as ) in The Topeka Terror

Don Quixote 'Ipso-Fact' Martindale: Maybe we're not as half as bad off as we think we are.
Mrs. Green: We couldn't be any worse off. Why the menfolks haven't even got a vote.
Don Quixote 'Ipso-Fact' Martindale: If we can prove our cases against those claim jumpers, then they will be the illegal residents.
Chad Stevens: In the meantime, Flint will be running the new county as Sheriff.
William Hardy: If there were only some way these folks could establish legal residence.
Don Quixote 'Ipso-Fact' Martindale: Oh, yes, but there isn't. I just wrecked, or at least I wracked my brains to think of something. I even read one of my own lawbooks.


--Earle Hodgins (as ) in The Topeka Terror

Uncle Clete: If you keep on bein' tricky like this, we're gonna lock you up fer a week, incommuni... endo!


--Earle Hodgins (as ) in Saintly Sinners

Joe Green: I tell you Parker, I filed my claim according to regulation. This Matt Johnson's a claim jumper!
Trent Parker: You say you filed a claim, but I have no record of it in my book, Mr. Green. There it is in black and white. The lot you say is yours is recorded by Mr. Matt Johnson.
Joe Green: Then this record book don't tell the truth.
Trent Parker: Are you accusing me of being crooked?
Don Quixote 'Ipso-Fact' Martindale: Ah, let me handle this matter, my friend - I am a lawyer. Yes sir, I will get out a writ of habeus corpuscles. I will nully contender that man Johnson.


--Earle Hodgins (as ) in The Topeka Terror

[Judge Smythe conducts Slade's murder trial while hungover]
Judge J. Frothingham Smythe: This court is now in session - Judge J. Frothingham Smythe at the bar... at the bar of justice, of course.


--Earle Hodgins (as ) in Oregon Trail