First Driver: Officer, can you tell me the way to Three Rivers?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: About two miles to the first main intersection, then turn left. It's about sixty miles.
First Driver: Thanks, what town is this?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Suddenly.
First Driver: Suddenly what?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: No no, that's the name.
First Driver: [laughs] That's a funny name for a town.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Uh huh, hangover from the old days; that's the way things used to happen here, suddenly.
First Driver: I see.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Road agents, gamblers, gunfighters.
First Driver: Well, I take it things have changed.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Uh huh. Things happen so slow now, the town council is figuring to change the name to Gradually.
First Driver: [laughs] Thanks, officer.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Pleasure, come back.

Peter Benson III: You stink
John Baron: You've got guts, kid.
Peter Benson: He's only 8.
John Baron: A LOT of guts.

Peter Benson: You know I read about an experiment, tried to keep a kid away from germs, all scientifical. First time he went out in the rough he caught cold and died of pnuemonia.
Ellen Benson: What's that got to do with Pidge?
Peter Benson: It has everything to do with Pidge, the kid hadn't been exposed to it, he had no immunity.

John Baron: I hate awards.

John Baron: I'm not actor, bustin' my leg on a stage so I can yell 'down with the tyrants'. If Booth wasn't such a ham he might've made it.

John Baron: It didn't stop. It didn't stop!

John Baron: The thing about killing you or her or him is that I wouldn't be getting paid for it and I don't like giving anything away for free.

John Baron: Tonight at five o'clock I kill the President. One second after five there's a new President. What changes? Nothing!

John Baron: Your guts are showing all over the place, brave boy.

Ellen Benson: Don't you have any feelings?
John Baron: No, they were taken outta me by experts.