Bilius: Hail, Mark Antony!
Mark Antony: Hail - snow, rain, thunder, lighting - the lot! Julius in?
[Gloria screams and runs out]
Mark Antony: I see he is!


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cleo

Captain: Flo! Ebb a bit.


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cruising

Captain: I'm going to be blunt, and make some very cutting remarks.
Marjoribanks: To be sure, sir, that's a contradiction in terms, but then English is a very curious language!
Captain: If you interrupt me once more, Mr....?
Marjoribanks: Marjoribanks, sir.
Captain: You interrupt me once more, mate, and you'll hear some really curious language!


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cruising

Charlie Hawkins: When you get to be a cab driver you cut yourself right off from the rest of the human race. Everybody's got it in for you and nobody loves you. In no time at all you find that you're about as popular as a wickerwork seat in a nudist camp, and you know what sort of impression that makes on people.


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cabby

Charlie Roper: What they brought you in here for then.
Francis Bigger: Oh just some pain in the back. Its a ooh, ooh dear.
Charlie Roper: Last bloke in that bed had the same thing.
Francis Bigger: Did he?
Charlie Roper: Right up to the end.
Francis Bigger: Well that's cheerful. I say one thing for them it's a nice warm bed.
Charlie Roper: Should be, they only took him out half an hour ago.


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Doctor

Gladstone Screwer: You don't have to move out, you know. It's a big bed.
Matron: Well as I told you earlier today, I'm not your sort of woman.
Gladstone Screwer: I don't mean anything nasty. I'll marry you first.
Matron: Marry me? Are you mad? Marry me in the middle of the night?
Gladstone Screwer: Where I come from it's a very simple ceremony.
[He produced a knife. Matron screams]
Gladstone Screwer: It's all right, nothing to worry about. We just make a quick cut in each other's left hand, put them together, say "We are one" and it's all legal.
Matron: Oh... I see... sort of instant wedlock?
Gladstone Screwer: That's it. Only out there they call it a bleedin' ceremony.
Matron: Yes, they often call it that here too.
Gladstone Screwer: Right, are you ready then?
Matron: No! I have no urge to marry you.
Gladstone Screwer: Oh, don't worry about that. The urge comes later!


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Again Doctor

Johnny Finger: [the opening scene after he shoots the three men] I wonder what they wanted?


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cowboy

Johnny Finger: I once talked peace with a Sioux, but you can't trust them. One moment it was peace on, the next it was peace off.


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cowboy

Johnny Finger: What's the matter? What have I done wrong?
Sheriff Albert Earp: You just killed three men, mister.
Johnny Finger: I know that, but what have I done wrong?


--Sid James (as ) in Carry On Cowboy

Lackery: [to Pendlebury who is pointing at him one of his souvenirs from Margate, a gun that fires a stick of rock] Put it away, I'm not hungry.


--Sid James (as Lackery Wood) in The Lavender Hill Mob