Prof. Nathaniel Billings: [Enthusiastically] I have very good news for you, Doctor!
Dr. Lorenz: Really?
Prof. Nathaniel Billings: Now, guess what!
Dr. Lorenz: [Annoyed] I don't know!
Prof. Nathaniel Billings: [With continued enthusiasm] Go ahead - guess
Dr. Lorenz: [Angrily] D-Do I look like a quiz kid?


--Peter Lorre (as Dr. Arthur Lorencz) in The Boogie Man Will Get You

Jonathan Brewster: [pulling on surgical gloves] And now doctor... we go to work!
Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny. I cannot operate without a drink!
Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!


--Peter Lorre (as Dr. Einstein) in Arsenic and Old Lace

Jonathan Brewster: Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer.
Dr. Einstein: But, Johnny, not tonight. I'm sleepy. We'll do it tomorrow, or the next day.
Jonathan Brewster: Look at me, Doctor. You can see that it's got to be done, can't you?
Dr. Einstein: Yeah, I know that look.
Jonathan Brewster: It's a little late to dissolve our partnership.
Dr. Einstein: Okay, okay, Johnny. Okay, we'll do it. But the quick way, huh? The quick twist like in London.
Jonathan Brewster: No, Doctor. I think this calls for something special. I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method.
Dr. Einstein: [cringing] No! Not the Melbourne method, please! Two hours!


--Peter Lorre (as Dr. Einstein) in Arsenic and Old Lace

[after listening to Mortimer's description of a character in a play]
Dr. Einstein: You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.


--Peter Lorre (as Dr. Einstein) in Arsenic and Old Lace

[after unintentionally scaring away a marine sergeant]
Peter Lorre: [sadly] All I wanted to ask him is to join me in a cigarette!
Sydney Greenstreet: He didn't trust us, Peter.
Peter Lorre: No... and we are such gentle people!
Sydney Greenstreet: ...Are we?
Peter Lorre: [Backs away, frightened]


--Peter Lorre (as Peter Lorre) in Hollywood Canteen

[discussing the body count]
Dr. Einstein: You got twelve, they got twelve.
[angrily grabs Dr. Einstein's necktie]
Jonathan Brewster: I've got thirteen!
Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny, twelve - don't brag.
Jonathan Brewster: Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo and the first one in London, two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, two in San Francisco, one in Phoenix, Arizona...
Dr. Einstein: Phoenix?
Jonathan Brewster: The filling station...
Dr. Einstein: Filling station? Oh!
[slits throat]
Dr. Einstein: Yes.
Jonathan Brewster: Then three in Chicago and one in South Bend. That makes thirteen.
Dr. Einstein: You cannot count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia!
Jonathan Brewster: He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him!
Dr. Einstein: No, no, Johnny. You cannot count him. You got twelve, they got twelve. The old ladies is just as good as you are!


--Peter Lorre (as Dr. Einstein) in Arsenic and Old Lace

[repeated line]
The General: [every time he introduces himself] General Pompellio Montezuma De La Vilia De Conde De La Rue.


--Peter Lorre (as The General) in Secret Agent

[Upon arriving on a deserted beach with Ned Land]
Conseil: I don't see any native girls hungry for affection.


--Peter Lorre (as Conseil) in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Joel Cairo: I am prepared to pay five thousand dollars for the figure's return. Do you have it?
Sam Spade: No.
Joel Cairo: But if it isn't here, why did you risk serious injury to prevent my searching for it?
Sam Spade: Why should I sit around here and let people come in and stick me up?
Joel Cairo: But certainly it is only natural that I try to save the owner such a considerable expense if possible.


--Peter Lorre (as Joel Cairo) in The Maltese Falcon

Joel Cairo: Look what you did to my shirt.


--Peter Lorre (as Joel Cairo) in The Maltese Falcon