Benjamin Dingle:
There are two kinds of people - those who don't do what they want to do, so they write down in a diary about what they haven't done, and those who are too busy to write about it because they're out doing it!
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
[Carter and Dingle are reading a "Dick Tracy" comic strip]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Is that the best you can do with your time?
Joe Carter: Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on.
Benjamin Dingle: I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
Joe Carter: Like what?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists.
Benjamin Dingle: Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists.
Joe Carter: Are they funny?
Benjamin Dingle: Sometimes, but no pictures.
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Is that the best you can do with your time?
Joe Carter: Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on.
Benjamin Dingle: I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
Joe Carter: Like what?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists.
Benjamin Dingle: Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists.
Joe Carter: Are they funny?
Benjamin Dingle: Sometimes, but no pictures.
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
[Connie explains the morning schedule to Mr. Dingle]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: [showing him a map] See, this is a floor plan of the apartment. Here's my room, here's your room, here's the bathroom and here's the kitchen. Now, my alarm goes off at seven o'clock, and we both get up. At seven one, I enter the bathroom. Then you go down to get the milk, and by seven five you've started the coffee. One minute later, I leave the bathroom, and a minute after that, you enter the bathroom. And that's when I'm starting to dress. Three minutes later, I'm having my coffee, and a minute after that at seven twelve, you leave the bathroom. At seven thirteen, I put on my eggs, and I leave to finish dressing. Then you put on your shoes, and take off my eggs at seven sixteen. At seven seventeen, you start to shave. At seven eighteen, I eat my eggs, and at seven twenty-one, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair, and at seven twenty-four, you're in the kitchen putting on your eggs. At seven twenty-five, you make your bed. Seven twenty-six, I make my bed. And then while you're eating your eggs, I take out the papers and cans. At seven twenty-nine, you're washing the dishes, and at seven thirty, we're all finished. You see? It's really very simple.
Benjamin Dingle: Do we do all this railroad time or Eastern War time?
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: [showing him a map] See, this is a floor plan of the apartment. Here's my room, here's your room, here's the bathroom and here's the kitchen. Now, my alarm goes off at seven o'clock, and we both get up. At seven one, I enter the bathroom. Then you go down to get the milk, and by seven five you've started the coffee. One minute later, I leave the bathroom, and a minute after that, you enter the bathroom. And that's when I'm starting to dress. Three minutes later, I'm having my coffee, and a minute after that at seven twelve, you leave the bathroom. At seven thirteen, I put on my eggs, and I leave to finish dressing. Then you put on your shoes, and take off my eggs at seven sixteen. At seven seventeen, you start to shave. At seven eighteen, I eat my eggs, and at seven twenty-one, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair, and at seven twenty-four, you're in the kitchen putting on your eggs. At seven twenty-five, you make your bed. Seven twenty-six, I make my bed. And then while you're eating your eggs, I take out the papers and cans. At seven twenty-nine, you're washing the dishes, and at seven thirty, we're all finished. You see? It's really very simple.
Benjamin Dingle: Do we do all this railroad time or Eastern War time?
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Mr. Dingle. I prefer sharing my apartment with a lady.
Benjamin Dingle: That's fine, so would I.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Uh, I'm sure you'd be happier someplace else.
Benjamin Dingle: I've been there.
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Benjamin Dingle: That's fine, so would I.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Uh, I'm sure you'd be happier someplace else.
Benjamin Dingle: I've been there.
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Charles J. Pendergast: Mr. Carter, I lie awake nights just worrying about the situation.
Benjamin Dingle: Little do you know how much you've got to worry about.
Charles J. Pendergast: Oh yes I do.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh no you don't.
Charles J. Pendergast: Oh yes I do.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh no you don't!
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Benjamin Dingle: Little do you know how much you've got to worry about.
Charles J. Pendergast: Oh yes I do.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh no you don't.
Charles J. Pendergast: Oh yes I do.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh no you don't!
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
Benjamin Dingle: Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier
--Charles Coburn (as Benjamin Dingle) in The More the Merrier