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Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Matt Helm: Well, I'm supposed to meet Linka tonight and they've set me up for a hit. But I'm gonnna shock her out of her miniskirt.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Count Massimo Contini: Actually, I would have preferred to live in a different century, Florence in the 13th or Germany in the 18th. Wouldn't you, Mr. Helm?
Matt Helm: No, it'd be all wrong. I'd be dead by now.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Count Massimo Contini: In our civilized business, this is the traditional time to offer you a cigarette or some liquid refreshment, perhaps. But since we are professional people on limiting time schedules, I suggest that we dispense with such amenities.
Matt Helm: Oh, no, let's not dispense with any of those things.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Freya Carlson: [After falling into a deep pond] It's too deep.
Matt Helm: Too deep, huh?
[She nods]
Matt Helm: I wanna ask you a question. Whose side are you on?
Freya Carlson: Well, I'm an agent. And I also happen to be a good one. And I'm also a woman!
[She storms away]
Matt Helm: It *was* the wig.

Sharon Tate

Sharon Tate

Freya Carlson: [their car is a wreck] Mr. Helm, I'm afraid the car is broken.
Matt Helm: The car is broken?
Freya Carlson: Yes.
[reaches inside the wreckage]
Freya Carlson: Oh! My hat! My hat's ok.


Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Freya Carlson: It just so happens that I know where Yu-Rang hangs her kimono.
Matt Helm: I'll bet you do.

Tina Louise

Tina Louise

Lola Medina: I'm a gypsy, Mr. Helm. My father was a gypsy. And he taught us one thing: wise men enjoy pleasure before business.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Lola Medina: I've heard that you do... drink.
Matt Helm: Just call it a hobby.

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