[pouring coffee but there is very little left because he accidently spilled most of it out a few minutes earlier]
Benjamin Dingle: There's a war going on Ms. Milligan!

Constance 'Connie' Milligan: ...I've made up my mind to rent to nobody but a woman.
Benjamin Dingle: So, let me ask you something. Would I ever want to wear your stockings?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: No.
Benjamin Dingle: Well, all right. Would I ever want to borrow your girdle, or your red and yellow dancing slippers?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Of course not.
Benjamin Dingle: Well, any woman, no matter who, would insist upon borrowing that dress you got on right now. You know why? Because it's so pretty.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: I made it myself.
Benjamin Dingle: And how would you like it if she spilled a cocktail all over it... at a party you couldn't go with her to because she borrowed it to go to it... in?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: She might have something that I could wear.
Benjamin Dingle: Not her.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Why not?
Benjamin Dingle: Because she's so dumpy looking. Never has anything clean. That's why she's always borrowing your dresses.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: How do I know you'd be any better?
Benjamin Dingle: Well, look at me. I'm neat, like a pin. Ah, let me stay.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Well, look, I...
Benjamin Dingle: I tell you what. We'll try it out for a week. End of the week comes, if you're not happy, we'll flip a coin to see who moves out.

Charles J. Pendergast: What was he doing with his binoculars in your apartment?!?!?

Benjamin Dingle: [singing] In love or war, with people like us, we've got to work fast or we'll miss the bus. If you straddle a fence and you sit and wait, you get too little and you get it too late. What'll you say if we see it through, you stick by me and I'll stick by you. And our 18 children will be glad we said...
Benjamin Dingle, Men bunking in the apartment building lobby: [singing] "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. And our 18 children will be glad we said, "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

Benjamin Dingle: Say, what brought you here, Mr. Carter?
Joe Carter: Railroad.
Benjamin Dingle: No, I mean, what's your job?
Joe Carter: I'm a mechanic. I work in a baby carriage factory.
Benjamin Dingle: Where?
Joe Carter: California.
Benjamin Dingle: San Francisco?
Joe Carter: Burbank.
Benjamin Dingle: Baby carriage factory, eh?
Joe Carter: Yep. Tokyo Baby Carriage Corporation - plain and fancy baby carriages for carrying babies to Tokyo.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh. Maybe you think this is none of my business.
Joe Carter: Maybe I do.
Benjamin Dingle: Probably your name isn't even Bill Carter.
Joe Carter: Probably not. It's probably Joe Carter.

Benjamin Dingle: There are two kinds of people - those who don't do what they want to do, so they write down in a diary about what they haven't done, and those who are too busy to write about it because they're out doing it!

Joe Carter: What do you do?
Benjamin Dingle: I'm a well-to-do, retired millionaire. How 'bout you?
Joe Carter: Same.

[Carter and Dingle are reading a "Dick Tracy" comic strip]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Is that the best you can do with your time?
Joe Carter: Mmm. Got to keep up with what's going on.
Benjamin Dingle: I missed two Sundays with "Superman" once, and I've never felt right since.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Seems to me you might read something more beneficial.
Joe Carter: Like what?
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: Like the editorials, for instance, or the columns. All well-informed people read the columnists.
Benjamin Dingle: Such as Mr. Pendergast, I suppose.
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: You're right, I suppose. Mr. Pendergast always reads the columnists.
Joe Carter: Are they funny?
Benjamin Dingle: Sometimes, but no pictures.

[Connie explains the morning schedule to Mr. Dingle]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: [showing him a map] See, this is a floor plan of the apartment. Here's my room, here's your room, here's the bathroom and here's the kitchen. Now, my alarm goes off at seven o'clock, and we both get up. At seven one, I enter the bathroom. Then you go down to get the milk, and by seven five you've started the coffee. One minute later, I leave the bathroom, and a minute after that, you enter the bathroom. And that's when I'm starting to dress. Three minutes later, I'm having my coffee, and a minute after that at seven twelve, you leave the bathroom. At seven thirteen, I put on my eggs, and I leave to finish dressing. Then you put on your shoes, and take off my eggs at seven sixteen. At seven seventeen, you start to shave. At seven eighteen, I eat my eggs, and at seven twenty-one, I'm in the bathroom fixing my hair, and at seven twenty-four, you're in the kitchen putting on your eggs. At seven twenty-five, you make your bed. Seven twenty-six, I make my bed. And then while you're eating your eggs, I take out the papers and cans. At seven twenty-nine, you're washing the dishes, and at seven thirty, we're all finished. You see? It's really very simple.
Benjamin Dingle: Do we do all this railroad time or Eastern War time?

[to Charles J. Pendergast, her fiancee]
Constance 'Connie' Milligan: You've been shushing me for 22 months now. You've shushed your last shush!