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Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Sheila Sommers: [referring to Francesca] You don't trust her, do you?
Matt Helm: I don't trust any woman.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Sheila Sommers: Suspenders and a belt?
Matt Helm: Yeah, I have trouble keeping my pants up.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Quintana: [struggling to stay afloat in a settling vat] I can't swim!
Matt Helm: Drink yourself to the bottom.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Quintana: This is our light beer. Care for a taste?
Matt Helm: Oh, I never touch the stuff. Except when I'm working.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Jose Ortega: [toasting] Cheers!
Francesca Madeiros: [also toasting] Skol!
Matt Helm: Sure it's cold. It's got ice in it.


Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Courier Slaygirl: Long distance call for you, Mr. Helm. Hop aboard.
Courier Slaygirl: [Matt sits himself down on the back of her scooter] I go pretty fast. Better find something to hang on to.
Matt Helm: [Matt knowingly looks at the camera] Crazy.

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

Member of firing squad: Silence!
Matt Helm: I believe the expression is, eh, 'Silence, Yankee dog', eh?
Matt Helm: [the guard does not answer] 'Yankee pig'?

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

[a new female recruit gets turned on by Frank Sinatra's "Strangers in the Night" playing in the background]
Matt Helm: You really like Perry Como that much?

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

[Matt is shown a new weapon which gives a whole new meaning to the term "bullet bra"]
Linda: It's not a gun, Mr. Helm. It's the new weapon they gave me, developed right here in our labs.
Matt Helm: Developed pretty well, too!
Linda: May I point out...
Matt Helm: You already do!
Linda: ...that that's why you're here. To become familiar with our latest equipment.
Matt Helm: You right. An agent should always keep *abreast* of the times!

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