First Driver: Officer, can you tell me the way to Three Rivers?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: About two miles to the first main intersection, then turn left. It's about sixty miles.
First Driver: Thanks, what town is this?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Suddenly.
First Driver: Suddenly what?
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: No no, that's the name.
First Driver: [laughs] That's a funny name for a town.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Uh huh, hangover from the old days; that's the way things used to happen here, suddenly.
First Driver: I see.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Road agents, gamblers, gunfighters.
First Driver: Well, I take it things have changed.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Uh huh. Things happen so slow now, the town council is figuring to change the name to Gradually.
First Driver: [laughs] Thanks, officer.
Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Pleasure, come back.

Peter Benson III: You stink
John Baron: You've got guts, kid.
Peter Benson: He's only 8.
John Baron: A LOT of guts.

John Baron: I hate awards.

John Baron: I'm not actor, bustin' my leg on a stage so I can yell 'down with the tyrants'. If Booth wasn't such a ham he might've made it.

John Baron: It didn't stop. It didn't stop!

John Baron: The thing about killing you or her or him is that I wouldn't be getting paid for it and I don't like giving anything away for free.

John Baron: Tonight at five o'clock I kill the President. One second after five there's a new President. What changes? Nothing!

John Baron: Your guts are showing all over the place, brave boy.

Ellen Benson: Don't you have any feelings?
John Baron: No, they were taken outta me by experts.

Sheriff Tod Shaw, Suddenly California: Don't play God just because you have a gun.
John Baron: You know when you have a gun you ARE in a way sort of a god. If you had the gun then you would be the god.