Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Secretary of Labor:
The Department of Labor wishes to note that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours.
Rufus T. Firefly: Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.
Rufus T. Firefly: Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.
Chico Marx
(as Chicolini)
Prosecutor:
Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Chico Marx
(as Chicolini)
Rufus T. Firefly:
Awfully decent of you to drop in today. Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
Chicolini: I've done it already.
Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.
Chicolini: I've done it already.
Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.
Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Chico Marx
(as Chicolini)
Rufus T. Firefly:
I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Chicolini: I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
Chicolini: I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Rufus T. Firefly:
Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.
Ambassador Trentino: What?
Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
Ambassador Trentino: What?
Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Rufus T. Firefly:
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did.
Chico Marx
(as Chicolini)
Chicolini:
Now I aska you one. What has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus?
Prosecutor: That's irrelevant.
Chicolini: Irrelephant? Hey, that'sa that answer. There's a whole lot of irrelephants in the circus.
Prosecutor: That's irrelevant.
Chicolini: Irrelephant? Hey, that'sa that answer. There's a whole lot of irrelephants in the circus.
Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Mrs. Teasdale:
Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
(as Rufus T. Firefly)
Mrs. Teasdale:
Your excellency, the ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart.
Rufus T. Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
Rufus T. Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
