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John Lennon

John Lennon
(as John)

George: [as TV Director walks away with PA] There he goes. Look at him. Bet his wife doesn't know about her.
John: If he's got one. Look at his sweater.
Paul: You never know, she might have knitted it.
John: She knitted him.
George Harrison

George Harrison
(as George)

George: He's very fussy about his drums, you know. They loom large in his legend.
John Junkin

John Junkin
(as Shake)

George: Honestly! Me mind boggles at the very idea, a grown man and you haven't shaved with a safety razor.
Shake: It's not my fault. I come from a long line of electricians.
George Harrison

George Harrison
(as George)

George: Put yer tongue away, it looks disgustin hangin out, all pink and naked.
George Harrison

George Harrison
(as George)

George: Sorry we hurt your field, mister.
Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney
(as Paul)

George: That's not your grandfather.
Paul: It is, you know.
George: But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
Paul: Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather, as well.
John: How do you reckon that one out?
Paul: Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they?
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr
(as Ringo)

George: What's the matter with you, then?
Ringo: It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me. It's cause I'm little.
George: Ah, you've got an inferiority complex, you have.
Ringo: Yeah, I know, that's why I play the drums - it's me active compensatory factor.
Victor Spinetti

Victor Spinetti
(as T.V. Director)

T.V. Director: Get me a bottle of milk and some tranquilizers. I see it all now, it's a plot... a plot...
Victor Spinetti

Victor Spinetti
(as T.V. Director)

T.V. Director: I won an award.
John: A likely story.
T.V. Director: It's on the wall in my office.
John Lennon

John Lennon
(as John)

T.V. Director: Now, look. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. I can't stand these backstage politics.
John: Aren't you tending to black-and-white the situation somewhat?
T.V. Director: Well, quite honestly, I wasn't expecting a musical arranger to question my ability picture-wise.
John: [to the others] I could listen to him for hours.
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