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Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: [disguised as a soothsayer and chanting loud gibberish] I say! You are in need of a soothsayer.
Erronius: How did you know?
Pseudolus: I'd be a fine soothsayer if I didn't.
Michael Hordern

Michael Hordern
(as Senex)

Pseudolus: [seeing his master, who has been seized and kissed by a courtesan] Sir! You're back!
Senex: She almost broke it!
Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: [Speaking of the girl Hero says he loves] A common courtesan in the house of Lycus?
Hero: Is that bad?
Pseudolus: There's no way to make it sound like an achievement!
Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!
Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: Don't you know? When they start to smile, the end is near. I hear it's lovely on Crete. Everyone lying there... smiling.
Jack Gilford

Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)

Pseudolus: Don't you think it's time we started trusting each other?
Hysterium: One of us isn't ready yet.
Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces.
Zero Mostel

Zero Mostel
(as Pseudolus)

Pseudolus: Wait!
Hero: Yes?
Pseudolus: A brilliant idea!
Hero: Yes!
Pseudolus: That's what we need, a brilliant idea.
Jack Gilford

Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)

Pseudolus: We'll need a body. Anybody's body.
Hysterium: Can you get one from Gusto the Body Snatcher?
Pseudolus: He owes me a favor! But he died yesterday.
Hysterium: Uh - what about HIS body?
Pseudolus: Somebody snatched it. Uh, let's see... who do we know that's dead?
Hysterium: [sadly] I wish *I* was.
[Pseudolus grins madly at him. As if to say, "Aha! That's it!"]
Jack Gilford

Jack Gilford
(as Hysterium)

Pseudolus: What can happen in an hour or two?
Hysterium: At his age, the mind boggles!
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