George: Anyway, where were you when I phoned you at the office?
Alice: I told you Mr. Katz gave us the day off; it's a Jewish holiday.
George: Oh, really? what holiday?
Alice: I don't know... Feast of the Contamination, or something.

George: I collect horse brasses.
Mercy Croft: Oh, how useful.

Mercy Croft: Are those bathroom scales accurate?
George: Yes, I think so.
Mercy Croft: Oh good!

Mercy Croft: It so happens that your death will coincide with road safety week, a cause which we know is very close to your heart.

Alice: I use half a level teaspoon of bicarbonated soda.
Mercy Croft: Now you're giving away trade secrets.
Alice: And one level teaspoon of cream of tartar.
George: Shut up.
Alice: And one egg.
George: Shut up!
Alice: Some people prefer two eggs but I think one's enough.
George: SHUT UP!
Mercy Croft: Now then girls! Girls...