Parlor, Bedroom and Bath (1931)

Polly Hathaway: You have all the passion of an infuriated clam.

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Jeffrey Haywood: Now, when you first get to your room, order some... uh, champagne and broiled lobster.
Reginald Irving: Champ... Ch... Can't you make it beer?
Jeffrey Haywood: Beer? Certainly not. Champagne!
[pause]
Jeffrey Haywood: C, H, A, M, P, A, uh... oh, well, make it wine. W, I, N, E.
Reginald Irving: Oh well, what do I call her?
Jeffrey Haywood: Oh, call her... kid, sweetheart, baby...
Reginald Irving: Kid, sweetheart, baby.
Jeffrey Haywood: Uh huh. And then when you're helping her to take off her...
Reginald Irving: Take off her what?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wrap!
Reginald Irving: R, A, P.
Jeffrey Haywood: No, WRAP! *W*, R, A, P.
Reginald Irving: Wap?
Jeffrey Haywood: Wap?... Well, make it coat.
Reginald Irving: K, O, T, E.

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Polly Hathaway: You're dead and you won't lay down.

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Filmed in Buster Keaton's own house.
The play opened in New York City on 24 December 1917 and ran for 232 performances.
A modern source lists Eugene Pallette in the cast. Although he was in the 1920 version, he was not in this film.
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