Joan Blondell

Joan Blondell
(as Violet)

Violet: Don't tell me you've gone and flipped for Rock?
[Peers at her]
Violet: Well, I'll be a writer's subplot. You have.
Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Rockwell P. Hunter / Himself / Lover Doll)

Rockwell Hunter: I'm not a failure. I'm the largest success there is. I'm an average guy. And all us average guys are successes. We run the works! Not the big guy behind the big desk!
Jayne Mansfield

Jayne Mansfield
(as Rita Marlowe)

Rita Marlowe: Don't leave me out, I have to be important in my own incorporated.
Jayne Mansfield

Jayne Mansfield
(as Rita Marlowe)

Rita Marlowe: Don't talk dirty on TV, it's a family medium!
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
(as George Schmidlap)

Rita Marlowe: George, how come you never tried to kiss me before?
George Schmidlap: I never could get close enough.
[turns his head to the camera and raises his eyebrows up and down]
Jayne Mansfield

Jayne Mansfield
(as Rita Marlowe)

Rita Marlowe: How can I remember? I'm all excited because you're loving me up!
Jayne Mansfield

Jayne Mansfield
(as Rita Marlowe)

Rita Marlowe: I picked him up, I can pick him down.

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