Rock Hudson

Rock Hudson
(as George Kimball)

Judy: George, remember our first anniversary?
George Kimball: Remember. I made notes!

Doris Day

Doris Day
(as Judy)

Judy: When he tells me he's dying and he doesn't DIE... wouldn't he know that I'd get SUSPICIOUS?

Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Arnold)

George Kimball: Egods, you've got cold feet!
Arnold Nash: Complaints, complaints, nothing but complaints! I could do some complaining, too, you know. You ever cut your toenails?

Rock Hudson

Rock Hudson
(as George Kimball)

George Kimball: I'm not her good friend. I'm her husband!

Tony Randall

Tony Randall
(as Arnold)

George Kimball: When a man's wife thinks he's having an affair, how can he convince her he's not?
Arnold Nash: He can't.
George Kimball: But I'm not having one!
Arnold Nash: Doesn't make any difference.
George Kimball: Isn't a man innocent until proven guilty?
Arnold Nash: Look, you're dealing with your wife. You can forget the Constitution.


Hal March

Hal March
(as Winston Burr)

George Kimball: You are a one hundred percent, non-shrinkable, no-money-back, rat fink.
Winston Burr: Yeah, but a bachelor rat fink!

Edward Andrews

Edward Andrews
(as Dr. Morrissey)

Dr. Morrissey: Is it a sharp pain, is it a dull pain, or does it grip like a vice
George Kimball: Yes, yes!
Dr. Morrissey: Nonono, pick one!
George Kimball: I guess it's a sharp pain, hurts like the dickens when I press it.
Dr. Morrissey: Then don't press it!

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