The Teahouse of the August Moon

The Teahouse of the August Moon

Col. Wainwright Purdy III: Plan B calls for the schoolhouse to be pentagon-shaped.


--Paul Ford (as Col. Wainwright Purdy III) in The Teahouse of the August Moon

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Col. Wilberforce: [completely tangled up in the radio's microphone cord] What the HELL is with this wire?


--Paul Ford (as Col. Wilberforce) in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

The Music Man

The Music Man

Mayor Shinn: [referring to Harold Hill] He's slipperier than a *Mississippi sturgeon*!


--Paul Ford (as Mayor George Shinn) in The Music Man

The Music Man

The Music Man

Mayor Shinn: I couldn't make myself any plainer if I'se a Quaker on his day off!


--Paul Ford (as Mayor George Shinn) in The Music Man

The Music Man

The Music Man

Mayor Shinn: It's as clear as a buttonhook in the well water!


--Paul Ford (as Mayor George Shinn) in The Music Man


The Music Man

The Music Man

Mayor Shinn: You watch your phraseology!


--Paul Ford (as Mayor George Shinn) in The Music Man

The Music Man

The Music Man

Mrs. Shinn: Now, George!
Mayor Shinn: Not one poop out of you, Madame!
Mrs. Shinn: [turning to Zaneeta] I think he means "peep"!
Mayor Shinn: [looks back] *Yes!*


--Paul Ford (as Mayor George Shinn) in The Music Man

The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are Coming

The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are...

[after the Russians in the boat eluded capture]
Fendall Hawkins: I'm holding you responsible!
[draws sword]
Fendall Hawkins: As Commander of the Civilian Forces, in this emergency! I'm charging you with treason!
Police Chief Link Mattocks: Gimme that thing!
[grabs his sword and breaks it in half]
Fendall Hawkins: [half tearful-half enraged] That's a Dexter F. Mettles Memorial Sword.
Police Chief Link Mattocks: Yeah.
Fendall Hawkins: [enraged] You traitorous fink!
[goes for Mattocks, resulting in a brawl]


--Paul Ford (as Fendall Hawkins) in The Russians Are Coming the Russians Are Coming

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