Seneca: Ooh, Arab eh? I've heard they're intense lovers.
Mark Antony: Well naturally, they do everything in tents.

Hengist Pod: My name's Pod. Hengist Post, this is my wife Senna.
Horsa: Oh, that's a pretty...
Hengist Pod: Pretty what?
Horsa: Er... pretty name.
Senna Pod: It was, 'til I married somebody called "Pod".

Bilius: Hail, Mark Antony!
Mark Antony: Hail - snow, rain, thunder, lighting - the lot! Julius in?
[Gloria screams and runs out]
Mark Antony: I see he is!

[Of the Britons]
Mark Antony: You know I just don't get these Britons; everytime we get a good punch up going, someone behind the line yells "Teas up!" and they all disappear!
Julius Caesar: "Teas up"? How very odd! It must be one of these strange gods they worship, like this other one they're always talking about, "Crumpet."
Mark Antony: What?
Julius Caesar: "Crum-pet", I don't understand it at all.
Mark Antony: You know something; I don't think these Britons don't want to be conquered.

[Seeing the capitive Britons rushing into Cleopatra's bedroom on the night she plans to kill Caesar]
Mark Antony: Blimey, she must be selling tickets!