Captain Potts: Who are you?
Miles Heywood: 4277298 Private Heywood, M, sir.
Captain Potts: Heywood? Ever heard of General Heywood?
Miles Heywood: My father, sir.
Captain Potts: Really? Read Admiral Heywood?
Miles Heywood: My grandfather, sir.
Captain Potts: Air Commodore Heywood?
Miles Heywood: My uncle, sir.
Captain Potts: Ah! Quick test. What's the first thing that comes into your head?
Miles Heywood: Women, sir.
Captain Potts: You're a soldier by tradition and instinct.


--Eric Barker (as ) in Carry On Sergeant

Desmond Simpkins: Oh, Vienna! Lovely! I've always wanted to see Vienna before I die.
The Chief: With a bit of luck, you'll do both.


--Eric Barker (as ) in Carry On Spying