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Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller
(as The Monster's Mate)

The Monster's Mate: [about the Mummy] I wonder how he got his invitation. He has an unlisted tomb. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
[about the Hunchback]
The Monster's Mate: Didn't I see him at the Transylvania Gardens in the main event?
Dracula: The Hunchback of Notre Dame ain't a boxer.
The Monster's Mate: Afraid it'll ruin his looks, eh? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller
(as The Monster's Mate)

The Monster's Mate: I don't know how he got his invitation. He has an unlisted tomb. Ha ha ha ha.

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller
(as The Monster's Mate)

The Monster's Mate: Remember what happened the last time you had a roving eye? I kept it in a jar for a week. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Felix Flanken: Well you see, Uncle, I'm a pharmacist.
Baron von Frankenstein: Aw, then you must have conducted experiments of your own.
Felix Flanken: Oh yes. My fudge quadrupple multi-flavored decker ala mode was a wild experiment. Mr. Kronkite turned green after he ate it.
Baron von Frankenstein: Of course.

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller
(as The Monster's Mate)

Francesca: [thinking] I can make the doctor's secrets mine before he bestows them on that Felix Flanken. And I can use Dracula to help me.
The Monster's Mate: Baby, Francesca is up to something with that Dracula. They both bear watching. Besides, it's her own fault for thinking so loud.


Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Francesca: But we haven't received a reply from... It.
Baron von Frankenstein: Well I should hope that we don't. You see, It wasn't invited. It was a crushing bore at our last convention. It kept walking around crushing boars, wild boars, in its hands. Very frankly, Francesca, It disgusts even me.

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Francesca: Do you really think that It would dare to come here uninvited?
Baron von Frankenstein: I don't know. It is capable of anything.

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Francesca: We also received a very strange reply from someone who says he's arriving on the 13th. Someone named Felix Flanken.
Baron von Frankenstein: He's coming? That is good news. What else does he write?
Francesca: "Looking forward to meeting all those fun people at your resort". Resort? Fun people? He doesn't mean Dracula and the Werewolf surely.
Baron von Frankenstein: Yes, yes? Go on.
Francesca: "Can't hardly wait to dip into the pool in the front of your resort and lie on your beautiful beach." Doctor, does he know about the crocodiles in the lagoon and the quicksand on the beach? Who or what is this Flanken?
Baron von Frankenstein: Oh, don't be alarmed. Felix Flanken is a mere human.

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Baron von Frankenstein: Ha ha ha. Quoth the raven, "Nevermore". I've done it. Created the means to destroy matter. They must all know. Know that I, Baron von Frankenstein, master of the secret of creation, have now mastered the secret of destruction. The invitations must be sent at once.

Boris Karloff

Boris Karloff
(as Baron Boris von Frankenstein)

Baron von Frankenstein: You wanted my vial, you'd kill my nephew for it? Now you shall see that Baron von Frankenstein is not one to cross. True you won't see it for too long a time, but for one second, oh boy.
[Drops vial; Island is completely obliterated]

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