Mary: That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.
Clarence Day: Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that way in church.
Mary: We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see, we're Methodist.
Clarence Day: Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want, but what I mean is, we're... *Episcopalians*.

Vinnie: Is that suit of your father's too tight for you?
Clarence Day: No, it's not too tight.
Vinnie: Well, what is it?
Clarence Day: Mother, very peculiar things have happened since I started to wear this suit. I can't seem to make these clothes do anything Father wouldn't do.
Vinnie: Oh, that's nonsense. And not to kneel in church is a sacrilege.
Clarence Day: Making Father's trousers kneel seemed like more of a sacrilege.

Clarence Day: Jiminy, another wreck on the New Haven. That always disturbs the stock market. Father won't like that.
Vinnie: I do wish the New Haven would stop having wrecks. If they knew how much it upsets your father.