First Judge: That sort of testimony we can eliminate.
Chicolini: Atsa fine. I'll take some.
First Judge: You'll take what?
Chicolini: Eliminate. A nice, cold glass eliminate.


--Chico Marx (as Chicolini) in Duck Soup

Leo Davis: Well, if you fellows don't mind, I'm going to wash up.
Harry Binelli: Yeah, go ahead. The rest of us are already washed up.


--Chico Marx (as Harry Binelli) in Room Service

Leo Davis: You've been in jail?
Harry Binelli: Sure, it's'a not so bad. You behave and they make you a trustee.


--Chico Marx (as Harry Binelli) in Room Service

Vera Marcal: If you're found, you're lost!
Chicolini: Oh, you crazy. How can I be lost if I'm found?


--Chico Marx (as Chicolini) in Duck Soup

Dr. Hackenbush: Dr. Hackenbush:
[examining Stuffy with an auriscope]
Dr. Hackenbush: I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde.
Tony: Told you he was sick.
Dr. Hackenbush: [pointing to Stuffy's neck] That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%.
Tony: That's bad.
Dr. Hackenbush: With a 1% mentality.
[Stuffy grins]
Dr. Hackenbush: He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at.
Tony: Hey doc. Hey doc!
Dr. Hackenbush: Huh?
Tony: You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself.


--Chico Marx (as Tony) in A Day at the Races

Dr. Hackenbush: Here's a ten-dollar bill and shoot the change, will you?
Tony: I got-a no change. I'll have to give you nine more books.


--Chico Marx (as Tony) in A Day at the Races

Gordon Miller: Too soon, too soon, he died too soon.
Harry Binelli: An hour too soon.


--Chico Marx (as Harry Binelli) in Room Service

Hammer: Hey, hey! You know that suitcase is empty?
Chico: That's all right. We fill it up before we leave.


--Chico Marx (as ) in The Cocoanuts

Hammer: Now here is a little peninsula and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?


--Chico Marx (as ) in The Cocoanuts

Hammer: What would you like? Would you like a suite on the third floor?
Chico: No. I'll take a Pollack in the basement.


--Chico Marx (as ) in The Cocoanuts