Philia:
That's the brute who raped my country, Thrace!
Pseudolus: He raped Thrace?
Philia: And then he came and did it again! And then again!
Pseudolus: He raped Thrace thrice?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus: He raped Thrace?
Philia: And then he came and did it again! And then again!
Pseudolus: He raped Thrace thrice?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Roger De Bris:
Ah, Bialystock and Bloom, I presume! Heh heh, forgive the pun!
Leo Bloom: [to Max] What pun?
Max Bialystock: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Leo Bloom: [to Max] What pun?
Max Bialystock: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Ulla:
[Sees Max and Leo and takes off dress] We make love?
Max Bialystock: No, we don't make love. Go to work.
[Ulla starts dancing to music on record player]
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Max Bialystock: No, we don't make love. Go to work.
[Ulla starts dancing to music on record player]
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Ulla:
Goddag på dig!
Leo Bloom: Uh, I beg your pardon?
Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo Bloom: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max Bialystock: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Leo Bloom: Uh, I beg your pardon?
Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo Bloom: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max Bialystock: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Leo Bloom:
Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Leo Bloom:
Hysterical attacks have a way of severely depleting one's blood sugar.
Max Bialystock: They certainly do... they certainly do!
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Max Bialystock: They certainly do... they certainly do!
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Leo Bloom:
Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man.
Max Bialystock: Assume away.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Max Bialystock: Assume away.
--Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock) in The Producers
Hysterium:
How dare you call me a eunuch?
Pseudolus: You know it isn't true and I know it isn't true. So what do we care what they think?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Pseudolus: You know it isn't true and I know it isn't true. So what do we care what they think?
--Zero Mostel (as Pseudolus) in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
The barber:
Get your big stomach out of my way!
Balukjiaan: My poor stomach! Every little thing upsets it. Do you have any soda?
Harry Smith: What's the matter with your stomach?
Balukjiaan: It talks to me like my conscience.
Harry Smith: What does it say?
Balukjiaan: It says,"Levon, my lamb, why do you stay in this terrible town? Why don't you go away - far away?"
--Zero Mostel (as ) in Sirocco
Balukjiaan: My poor stomach! Every little thing upsets it. Do you have any soda?
Harry Smith: What's the matter with your stomach?
Balukjiaan: It talks to me like my conscience.
Harry Smith: What does it say?
Balukjiaan: It says,"Levon, my lamb, why do you stay in this terrible town? Why don't you go away - far away?"
--Zero Mostel (as ) in Sirocco
Balukjiaan:
[entering the warehouse] Nasir, my little lamb, my sweet friend!
Nasir Aboud: [with sarcasm] We smelled you coming.
Balukjiaan: Uh?
Nasir's assistant: He said you smell like a goat!
--Zero Mostel (as ) in Sirocco
Nasir Aboud: [with sarcasm] We smelled you coming.
Balukjiaan: Uh?
Nasir's assistant: He said you smell like a goat!
--Zero Mostel (as ) in Sirocco
