Ringo: Funny, really, 'cause I'd never thought of it, but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?
Grandfather: You're only right.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

Ringo: I don't snore.
George: You do, repeatedly.
Ringo: Do I snore, John?
John: Yeah, you're a window-rattler, son.
Ringo: That's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul?
Paul: With a trombone hooter like yours, it would be unnatural if you didn't.
Grandfather: Now, Paulie... don't mock the afflicted.
Paul: Ah, come off it, it's only a joke!
Grandfather: Aye, it may be a joke to you, but it's his nose. He can't help having a hideous great hooter! And his poor little head, trembling under the weight of it!


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

Grandfather: Hey, Paulie, they're trying to fob you off with this musical charlatan. But I gave him the test.
T.V. Director: I'm quite happy to be replaced.
Grandfather: He's a typical buck-passer.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

Grandfather: Look, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery. But so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gahs like yourselves, but I'm feeling decidedly strait-jacketed.
Lead makeup woman: What a clean old man!
Grandfather: Ah, don't press your luck.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

Grandfather: Well, you got me here so do your worst, but by God, I'll take one of you with me! I know your game. Get me into that tiled room and then out come the rubber hoses!
Police Inspector: Oh, there's a fire, is there?
Grandfather: You ugly, great brute. You have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser!
Police Inspector: Eh?
Grandfather: I'll go on hunger strike! I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle tap.
Police Inspector: What's he on about?
Grandfather: I'm a soldier for the Republic! You'll need the mahogany truncheons on this boyo.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

Grandfather: Would you look at him? Sittin' there with his hooter scrapin' away at that book!
Ringo: Well, what's the matter with that?
Grandfather: Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that?
Ringo: You can learn from books!
Grandfather: You can, can you? Pahh! Sheeps' heads! You could learn more by gettin' out there and living!
Ringo: Out where?
Grandfather: Any old where! But not our little Richard. Oh, no. When you're not thumpin' them pagan skins you're tormenting your eyes with that rubbish.
Ringo: Books are good.
Grandfather: *Parading's* better.
Ringo: Parading?
Grandfather: [nods eagerly] Parading the streets! Trailing your coat! Bowling along! LIVING!
Ringo: Well, I am living.
Grandfather: You? Living? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a sheila with your cool, appraising stare?
Ringo: You're a bit old for that sort of chat, aren't you?
Grandfather: Well at least I've got a backlog of memories! All you've got is - THAT BOOK!


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

[Grandfather and Ringo are held in a police station]
Grandfather: Have they roughed you up yet?
Ringo: What?
Grandfather: Oh, they're a desperate crew of drippings, and they've fists like mature hams for pounding poor defenseless lads like you. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on, son, I'll be back here.
Ringo: For me?
Grandfather: And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket.
Ringo: They seem all right to me.
Grandfather: Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains.
Police Inspector: Would you two like a cup of tea?
Grandfather: See, *sly* villains.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night

[playing baccarat]
Grandfather: My turn? Er... bingo!
Croupier: Pas "bingo," monsieur. "Banco."
Grandfather: Ah, I'll take the little darlin's anyway.


--Wilfrid Brambell (as Grandfather) in A Hard Day's Night