Agnes:
I'd like nothing better than to knock your ears down into your neck.
Rollo La Rue: I suppose you forget the day I busted you in the nose in Cincinnatah!
--W.C. Fields (as Rollo La Rue) in If I Had A Million
Rollo La Rue: I suppose you forget the day I busted you in the nose in Cincinnatah!
--W.C. Fields (as Rollo La Rue) in If I Had A Million
Milton:
Big chief gottum new squaw?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: "New" is right. She hasn't been unwrapped yet.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cuthbert J. Twillie: "New" is right. She hasn't been unwrapped yet.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Og Oggilby:
Oh... I knew this would happen! I was a perfect idiot to ever listen to you!
Egbert Sousé: You listen to me, Og! There's nothing in this world that is perfect.
--W.C. Fields (as Egbert Sousè) in The Bank Dick
Egbert Sousé: You listen to me, Og! There's nothing in this world that is perfect.
--W.C. Fields (as Egbert Sousè) in The Bank Dick
Elsie Mae Adele Brunch Sousé:
What's the matter, Pop? Don't you love me?
Egbert Sousé: [raising his hand in anger] Certainly I love you!
Agatha Sousé: Don't you dare strike that child!
Egbert Sousé: She's not gonna tell ME I don't love her.
--W.C. Fields (as Egbert Sousè) in The Bank Dick
Egbert Sousé: [raising his hand in anger] Certainly I love you!
Agatha Sousé: Don't you dare strike that child!
Egbert Sousé: She's not gonna tell ME I don't love her.
--W.C. Fields (as Egbert Sousè) in The Bank Dick
Everett:
I told him I wouldn't do it if I was him.
Harold: You told him you wouldn't do it if you was him. Get him outta here!
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
Harold: You told him you wouldn't do it if you was him. Get him outta here!
--W.C. Fields (as Harold Bissonette) in It's a Gift
Receptionist:
Some day you'll drown in a vat of whiskey!
The Great Man: Drown in a vat of whiskey. Death, where is thy sting?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
The Great Man: Drown in a vat of whiskey. Death, where is thy sting?
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
Barfly drinking straight whiskey:
Squawk Mulligan tells me you buried your wife several years ago.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, yes. I had to. She died.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, yes. I had to. She died.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cousin Zeb:
Uh, is this a game of chance?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Not the way *I* play it, no.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Not the way *I* play it, no.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in My Little Chickadee
Sheriff Walter Jones:
When is Cleo gonna act in this show?
The Great McGonigle: Oh, yes, yes, yes. She'll probably go on right after the epilogue.
--W.C. Fields (as The Great McGonigle / Squire Cribbs in 'The Drunkard') in The Old Fashioned Way
The Great McGonigle: Oh, yes, yes, yes. She'll probably go on right after the epilogue.
--W.C. Fields (as The Great McGonigle / Squire Cribbs in 'The Drunkard') in The Old Fashioned Way
Hope Wolfinger:
He stole that ticket out of your pocket. I despise him, Dad. The lazy, good-for-nothing, fat, overfed monkey!
Ambrose Wolfinger: He, uh, he isn't too fat.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Man on the Flying Trapeze
Ambrose Wolfinger: He, uh, he isn't too fat.
--W.C. Fields (as ) in Man on the Flying Trapeze
