Classic Movie Hub (CMH)


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Helpmates

Helpmates

Ollie: Get this house cleaned up! Do you know that my wife will be home at noon!
Stan: Say, what do you think I am? Cinderella? If I had any sense I'd walk out on you.
Ollie: Well it's a good thing you haven't any sense!
Stan: It certainly is!


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates

Their First Mistake

Their First Mistake

Ollie: What did you strike that match for?
Stan: I wanted to see if the light switch was off.


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Their First Mistake

Laughing Gravy

Laughing Gravy

Ollie: Where are you going?
Stan: [emphatically] I'm gonna get my dog!


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Laughing Gravy

Helpmates

Helpmates

Ollie: Why weren't you at the party last night?
Stan: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog.
Ollie: I can't understand you. Spell it.
Stan: A dog bit me. B-I-it me. Bit me.
Ollie: Where?
Stan: [Rolls up sleeve and puts the telephone to the injured area] They had to take me to the hospital last night and they said I might have hydrophosphates.


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Helpmates

The Devil's Brother

The Devil's Brother

Ollio: I'm not afraid of poverty.
Stanlio: But I am.


--Stan Laurel (as ) in The Devil's Brother


Bonnie Scotland

Bonnie Scotland

Khan Mir Jutra: [a gunshot is heard behind a screen] Remove the body.
Ollie: [the screen is removed. Stan has his eyes closed and a pistol pointed over his head] What happened?
Stanley MacLaurel: I missed myself.
[cries]


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Bonnie Scotland

Another Fine Mess

Another Fine Mess

Lady Plumtree: Agnes, how long have you been here?
Stan: [in drag as the maid] About half an hour.
[realizing what she has said]
Stan: Oh, heh!
[laughs]
Stan: How silly of me! I'm so nervous. Heh, I mean half a year - to be exact, three months!


--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Another Fine Mess

Sons of the Desert

Sons of the Desert

Dr. Horace Meddick: What seems to be the trouble?
Stan: I think he's suffering from a nervous shakedown.


--Stan Laurel (as Stan) in Sons of the Desert

Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble

Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.
Stan: Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Nothing But Trouble

Pardon Us

Pardon Us

Schoolteacher: You spell "Needle"!
Oliver: [pause] N-E-I-D-L-E.
Schoolteacher: There is no "I" in needle!
Stanley: Then it's a rotten needle.


--Stan Laurel (as ) in Pardon Us

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