Deputy Lon Dedrick: You ain't gettin' no older than tomorrow.


--Slim Pickens (as Deputy Lon Dedrick) in One-Eyed Jacks

Ike Walterstein: [referring to the whiskey] That stuff's for doctorin'! It's not for drinkin'!


--Slim Pickens (as Ike Walterstein) in Will Penny

Wiley: [during the fight between Dahlstrom and Benteen] Boy, you sure do kick up a lot of dust with your sermon, Reverend!


--Slim Pickens (as Wiley) in Major Dundee

Wiley: If you're lookin' for hard-ridin', Injun-fightin' whiskey drinkin' mulepackers, then by *God* you've got one!
Maj. Amos Dundee: What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?
Sgt. Gomez: He's the biggest drunk, but the best mule packer in the Territory, sir.
Maj. Amos Dundee: What's your name?
Wiley: Wiley.
Maj. Amos Dundee: All right, Wiley. Make your mark.
Wiley: Whiskey?
Maj. Amos Dundee: All you can drink...
[Wiley signs the contract]
Maj. Amos Dundee: ...when you've earned it. Sergeant, take him to a cell and dry him out.
[Sergeant Gomez escorts Wiley out of the room]
Wiley: Well! I ain't never seen anything like this before!


--Slim Pickens (as Wiley) in Major Dundee

Maj. Amos Dundee: [after a battle, Dundee comes across Wiley, bleeding from a head wound] Wiley, are you hit?
Wiley: No, sir. My damned mule kicked me.


--Slim Pickens (as Wiley) in Major Dundee