Classic Movie Hub (CMH)


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Help!

Help!

George: [referring to a drill coming through a painting] What's that?
Austrian Waiter: What's what?
George: That little whirly thing coming out of his stomach.
Austrian Waiter: I can't look!
[a hose comes through the whole the drill made]
John: It's only a hose.
[the waiter faints as the Beatles investigate the hose]
Paul: [listens into the hose then hands it to John] It's for you.
John: Who is it?
Paul: The gardener.


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in Help!

Help!

Help!

George: How's your equilibrium ring?
Ringo: How's yours? You lied again, George.
George: How'd you know it's not you that's lied.
Ringo: Cause I never am. Am I, Paul?
Paul: Yeah, you are.


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in Help!

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

George: That's not your grandfather.
Paul: It is, you know.
George: But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
Paul: Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather, as well.
John: How do you reckon that one out?
Paul: Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they?


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in A Hard Day's Night

Help!

Help!

Paul: My skin's soaked right through to the skin!


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in Help!

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

Paul: Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt... Zap!


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in A Hard Day's Night


A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

Paul: Yeah, where's the old mixer?
Grandfather: Here, Paulie.
Paul: I've got a few words to say to you, two-faced John McCartney.
John: Oh, leave him alone. He's back, isn't he? He can't help being old.
Paul: What's being old got to do with it? He's a trouble-maker and a mixer, that's good enough for me!


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in A Hard Day's Night

Help!

Help!

John: [George has just passed out from seeing the size of Ahme's hypodermic needle] Now see what you've done with your filthy Eastern ways!
Ahme: No! It is Clang, the high priest, who is filthy in his Eastern ways.
John: How do we know you're not just as filthy, and sent by him to nick the ring by being filthy when you've lulled us with your filthy Eastern ways?
Paul: What filthy ways are these?


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in Help!

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

John: And we're looking after him, are we?
Grandfather: I'll look after myself.
Paul: Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
John: He's got you worried, then?
Paul: Him? He's a villain, a real mixer. And he costs you a fortune in Breach of Promise cases.


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night

John: Don't worry, son, we'll get you the best lawyer green stamps can buy.
Paul: Oh, ho! It's a laugh a line with Lennon!


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in A Hard Day's Night

Help!

Help!

John: Oh, why don't you chop it off, Ringo?
Ringo: Look John, I've had some great times with this finger.
[to Paul]
Ringo: And how do you know I wouldn't miss it?
Paul: You're a rat underneath, aren't you?


--Paul McCartney (as Paul) in Help!

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