Stan:
Do you mind if I have another idea?
Ollie: If it's anything like the last one, yes.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Way Out West
Ollie: If it's anything like the last one, yes.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Way Out West
Stanley Laurel:
Your bath's ready.
Ollie Hardy: You know I can't take a bath with this foot. And besides, it isn't Saturday.
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Them Thar Hills
Ollie Hardy: You know I can't take a bath with this foot. And besides, it isn't Saturday.
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Them Thar Hills
Lord Leopold Plumtree:
[shaking his hand in surprise and pain after the brace holding up the lid of the piano vibrates loose and the lid falls shut and pinches Lord Plumtree's finger] Oh, I say! I SAY!
Ollie: Oh, I beg your pardon, Lord Figtree!
Lord Leopold Plumtree: 'PLUMtree!' 'PLUMtree'! Lord Leopold 'Plumtree'!
[He hands Hardy another card]
Ollie: Ah, a thousand pardons - - my mistake!
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Another Fine Mess
Ollie: Oh, I beg your pardon, Lord Figtree!
Lord Leopold Plumtree: 'PLUMtree!' 'PLUMtree'! Lord Leopold 'Plumtree'!
[He hands Hardy another card]
Ollie: Ah, a thousand pardons - - my mistake!
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Another Fine Mess
Lord Leopold Plumtree:
[to Stan who is dressed as the maid] Pardon me, are you of any relation to the butler?
Ollie: Oh, yes, yes, they're twins. You see, one was born in Detroit, the other in Mee-a-mee.
[Laughs]
Lord Leopold Plumtree: I don't quite understand.
Ollie: Oh, that's all right. Neither do they.
[Laughs]
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Another Fine Mess
Ollie: Oh, yes, yes, they're twins. You see, one was born in Detroit, the other in Mee-a-mee.
[Laughs]
Lord Leopold Plumtree: I don't quite understand.
Ollie: Oh, that's all right. Neither do they.
[Laughs]
--Oliver Hardy (as Ollie) in Another Fine Mess
Stan Sr.:
[reaching out to stop Ollie from using his pool cue] My break!
Ollie Sr.: It's MY break!
Stan Sr.: [indignantly] It's MY break!
[points irritably]
Stan Sr.: You went in the pocket there -...
Ollie Sr.: [bonks Stan over the head with his pool cue to shut him up, then leans over the pool table with the cuestick to hit the cueball again. Stan quickly reaches out and picks up the cueball to keep Ollie from hitting it, but Ollie doesn't see Stan's action in time, and thrusts the cuestick forward where the ball had been, skinning off a strip of the pool table's green felt playing surface]
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Brats
Ollie Sr.: It's MY break!
Stan Sr.: [indignantly] It's MY break!
[points irritably]
Stan Sr.: You went in the pocket there -...
Ollie Sr.: [bonks Stan over the head with his pool cue to shut him up, then leans over the pool table with the cuestick to hit the cueball again. Stan quickly reaches out and picks up the cueball to keep Ollie from hitting it, but Ollie doesn't see Stan's action in time, and thrusts the cuestick forward where the ball had been, skinning off a strip of the pool table's green felt playing surface]
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Brats
Stan Sr.:
If you must make a noise, make it quietly.
Ollie Sr.: Make a noise quietly. Hmph!
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Brats
Ollie Sr.: Make a noise quietly. Hmph!
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Brats
Stan:
[Referring to Laughing Gravy] Watcha gonna do with him?
Landlord: You know my rules about dogs. I'm going to throw him out!
Ollie: On a night like this?
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Laughing Gravy
Landlord: You know my rules about dogs. I'm going to throw him out!
Ollie: On a night like this?
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Laughing Gravy
Stan:
I see a monkey.
Oliver: A what?
Stan: A monkey.
Oliver: Well it doesn't surprise me a bit.If you don't quit drinking that brandy,you'll be seeing pink elephants.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Swiss Miss
Oliver: A what?
Stan: A monkey.
Oliver: Well it doesn't surprise me a bit.If you don't quit drinking that brandy,you'll be seeing pink elephants.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Swiss Miss
Stanley MacLaurel:
[after hearing that Sandy MacLaurel killed himself at the sight of his newborn son] That must have been an ugly kid.
Ollie: Sandy MacLaurel was *your father*.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Bonnie Scotland
Ollie: Sandy MacLaurel was *your father*.
--Oliver Hardy (as ) in Bonnie Scotland